Remy Hood
by Rogue238
Summary: Raven and Lightning present the evotized version of Disney's Robin Hood. Dedicated to Nightshade89. Rating just in case. Just a bunch more fun. Finished! R&R please.
1. Preproduction

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution or Robin Hood. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.**

* * *

**A/N: For those of you who have not read Sleeping Beauty (with Rogue as Aurora and Remy as Prince Phillip), it isn't necessary to, but here are the things you need to know. Raven and Lightning are time travelers from another dimension, where Rogue and Gambit are married and Raven is their daughter. She has a little sister named Rachel. Oh, and Kitty and Piotr have a daughter who is code named Twinkle.**

**For those of you who have read it, type casting was very much so harder in this one, so if some parts don't really fit, I'm sorry.**

This story is dedicated to **Nightshade-89** for inspiring it.

And now Raven and Lightning Present . . .

Remy Hood

Preproduction:

Rogue sits looking over the one copy of the script which used to be laying on the director's chair. "Oh, this is _so_ not happening. Does anyone know who's directing this time?"

"Uh, Remy t'ink t'at we are getting t'e same ones as last time." He grins at her.

She hits the script against her head over and over again as she says, "No. No. No. They're gonna make me wear a dress again."

"Oh, but Rogue, you looked so cute last time." Jean taunts.

"Shut up."

"Oh, but aren't you looking forward to seeing _our daughter_ again?" Remy smirks.

"Hey, just because it happened in some _other_ dimension, doesn't mean it's gonna happen in _this_ one!" she snaps.

Just about then, Raven and Lightning show up. Everyone groans. "Well, we are happy to see you too." Raven says lightly.

"Very happy," grins Lightning.

"And why, pray tell, are we gathered here today?" Magneto asks.

"That's a very good question." Lightning says.

"Very good." Raven says.

"Ya aren't gonna make me wear a dress!" Rogue yells.

"Now please, Rogue, be reasonable." Raven says.

"Do ya really call me Rogue where ya come from?" Rogue says annoyed.

"Uh, no. My Momma would kill me." Raven says.

"Yeah, well, Ah just might do that here!" Rogue growls.

"No good. This time, we made you all sign contracts in your sleep." Lightning says, holding them up. Everyone groans again.

"Wait a minute," Remy says grabbing the script from Rogue's hands. "T'is is Robin Hood. T'e one wit' t'e furry little animals. Remy ain't wearing no fox suit!"

"Fine, fine, we'll forget the animal suits, except for Logan's. I like Logan's." Raven says.

"How come I still have ta wear a dress, but ya listened ta him?" Rogue asks angrily.

"I'm a Daddy's girl." She shrugs.

"Tell me about it," Lightning mutters.

"What was that?" Raven asks him sweetly.

"I said, um, let get to work on it?" Lightning says, hoping she'll believe him while he hands out the rest of the scripts.

She decides to let is go. "Good idea. Now first off, the main part goes to Gambit, which is why we've changed the title to Remy Hood."

"Figures." mutters Evan.

"And then, that gives Rogue the part of Maid Marian." Lightning says merrily.

"Naturally." Kitty says.

"Kitty, you get to be Lady Kluck." Raven says.

"Oh goody." she says without enthusiasm.

"Who do I get to be?" ask Piotr, standing next to her.

"Um, Little John." Lightning says. "And John, before you start whining, you get to be Prince John."

"Ooh, a prince! Yay! Do I light stuff on fire.?" he asks.

"Uh, no." Raven says. "Let's see. Kurt, I decided to give you the part of Friar Tuck."

"Hey, if your Rogue's daughter, zen doesn't zat make you my niece?" Kurt asks, taking his script.

"Yes," Lightning replies for her. "Scott, since you were so unhappy about your last part, we've decided to give you a bigger one in this play."

"Yes!" Scott says happily, "Which part?"

"Sir Hiss." Raven answers with an evil gleam in her eye. "Now, Jean, you will be the mother rabbit."

"A mother rabbit?" Jean says in shock while several people snicker.

"Yes, yes, a mother rabbit." Lightning says, "Now, Bobby, you will play Jean's son."

Bobby makes a gagging noise.

"Jubilee will play her older daughter and Amara will play the baby rabbit." Raven says.

Before Amara can remark about playing the part of a baby, Lightning takes over. "Okay, and Rahne is the wife church mouse, with Sam as the husband church mouse."

"Why couldn't Scott and I get _that_ part?" Jean mutters.

"Because, I'm in charge. That's why." Raven grins. "Okay, Professor Xavier is King Richard."

"And Logan is Allen A. Dale." Lightning says quickly. "And Sabretooth is the Sheriff of Nottingham."

Sabretooth grins at the thought of getting to be cruel to the other cast members.

"Lance is Trigger, and Toad is Nutzy." Raven says.

"Hey, that wasn't very nice,yo!" Toad says.

"No, Todd," Lightning says, "That's the name of the character you're going to play."

"Oh, well I guess that's okay then."

"Evan, you get to play, Toby." Lightning remarks casually.

"What? That scared little turtle! Why me?" he cries out.

"Uh, we couldn't get anyone else to do it?" Raven answers. "Ray, you're Auto."

"Who's Auto?" Ray asks.

"He's t'e dog wit' t'e broken leg." Remy answers.

"Ah'm not even gonna ask how you know that." Rogue says.

"Tabby gets to blow the horn this time." Lightning says, "and Warren gets to be the Crocodile announcer."

"Figures, I only get called in here to be a herald." Angel mutters.

"Well, now, Angels are the messengers of God. Get used to it." Raven says. "Okay, That leaves Forge, Storm, Magneto, Roberto, Wanda, and Mystique to show off your archery skills at the archery competition."

"I didn't know I _had_ any archery skills," Roberto mutters.

"You do now," Lightning says. "And Pietro, Fred, Hank, Mastermind, X23, you are all the Rhino Guard. Anyone else is various towns people."

Jaime sighs. "Guess it's clones to the rescue again."

Meanwhile Logan has been looking over his part. "Hey, why do I have to wear a chicken suit? And no one else does?"

"Um, I like the chicken suit. And it says so in your contract." Raven answers, handing him a copy.

He growls, "So it does," as he reads the line were it says, "I, James Logan aka Wolverine, agree to wear a chicken costume, play a lute and sing in Raven and Lightning's production of Remy Hood. I also agree to do so happily and without complaint." The contract was signed in his authentic handwriting. He growls again while Sabretooth laughs. "What about him?"

"Oh, Sabretooth already looks like an animal." She says. Logan laughs at him this time. That chuckle from Logan is followed by a growl and an attack by Sabretooth.

Soon, they are fighting full strength. Xavier and Magneto are arguing again, rather loudly. The New Recruits are all ganging up on the Brotherhood who are striking back, except for Lance who is pouring a full ice tray down Piotr's shirt. Piotr jumps up quickly and punches him in full metal form. Pyro is chasing Wanda around who is caught between hexing him or the New Recruits. Tabby's blowing up random things. Mystique is trying to get Kurt to listen to her. Kurt is trying to talk to Rogue over the noise of Remy trying to talk to her too. Rogue is ignoring them both and talking to Kitty. Why she's ignoring Kurt, no one knows, including Kurt. Chaos returns.

"This is not going to be any fun, is it?" Raven says.

"Oh yeah, you're _such_ a big expert on fun, Raven Lebeau." Lightning remarks.

"Oh and _you_ are?" she remarks.

"Well, at least _my_ definition of the word _fun_ isn't a _three hour_ danger room session with Wolverine and X23!" he shouts.

"Well, I happen to like fighting, _so there_!" she sticks her tongue out of her mouth at him, just because she knows it will bug him.

"Get a life!" he calls.

"Well, if I _do_ need a new one, I certainly wouldn't want to take _yours_!"

"And _what_ is so wrong with _my_ life?" Lightning shouts.

"Well, for one thing, you're dating _her_." Scott points out.

"Shut up!" they yell at him at the same time.

Scott walks off, muttering horrible things about synchronized sentences. And we will leave with him . . .

* * *

A/N: Well, I hoped you enjoyed the casting of this play, the actual filming should be even more fun. :) The first scene will be the chase through the woods. Oo-de-lolly. Isn't that a stupid word. Glad I didn't make it up. Lol. 


	2. Scene 1: Oo De Lally

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To kyo-kitty: Thank you. No, he's an only child. I can't do Cinderella because I don't own it. Snow White sounds hilarious, but I can't do that either, cause I don't own it on DVD and my VCR is broken. (pouts). Still I can sit it now: "Cyclops, Cyclops, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all." "Jean" "You're supposed to say me!" "No, actually, he's supposed to say Rogue." lol.

To Sweety8587: lol. I don't think Kitty likes the idea of being in the play with Raven and Lightning directing, that's all. Scott is just so perfect for that part. Can't you see it, Pyro beating up Scott the whole time. Sweet. . .

* * *

Remy Hood

Scene 1: Oo-De-Lally

Logan is growling at his chicken costume in the mirror. "They _can't_ be serious." He starts to take it off, but his eyes fall on his signed, adamantium-lined contract. Completely unbreakable and he knows, because he tried, several times. . .

"Oh, don't you look cute," mocks Sabretooth.

"Look, bub," snikt goes Logan's claws. "You say one more word about the costume and Raven will have to find herself a new sheriff, if you get my drift."

"Break it up!" Raven yells from across the room. "Or, _I'll_ have to do it for you!"

"And trust me! That won't be pretty!" Lightning yells.

Pyro is holding on to his flame thrower very tightly. "You aren't gonna take it away this time are ya, mate?"

"Only if you start another fire," Raven tells him. "Oh, and you can't have it during your scenes, either."

"But, but. . ."

"But, you can get it right back after them, if you promise to be good." Lightning finishes.

"I'll be good, I promise, just don't take me flame thrower away."

"_I'll_ hold on to it for you." smiles Wanda threateningly. Torturing him is fast becoming her favorite pastime.

Pyro screams and runs off. Raven rolls her eyes.

Todd hops off after her, shouting, "Wait for me, my little sweetums!" At which Wanda stops chasing Pyro and starts running for her life.

"Oh, yeah, _this_ is gonna be a blast. . ." Rogue says sarcastically to Kitty.

"Well, at least we, like, aren't in the first few scenes." Kitty answers while thinking about how nice Piotr looks in his dark green tunic.

Remy comes out in his Robin Hood outfit and walks up to Rogue. "Remy look magnifique, non?"

"More like _ridicule_, Swamp Rat." she lies. He really looks very good in the tight green outfit, but Rogue certainly doesn't want him to know that.

"Someone should learn how to express her _true feelings_, chere." Remy winks at her.

"Ah ain't your _dear_, Remy Lebeau!"

"Are they, like, like this in, like, your dimension?" Kitty asks Raven.

"Where do you think _we_ get it?" Raven laughs, looking at Lightning, who laughs as well.

"So, there's, like, no hope for them, whatsoever, like, is there?"

"Um, no, not really." Raven grins, enjoying herself as Rogue starts picking up a cup of hot coffee and readying herself to throw it at him.

Lightning grabs her arm just in time. "Sorry, Rogue, but we can't afford the dry cleaning bills right now." Remy smirks at her and she walks off.

"Places People, let's go! Time for the first scene!" She grins. "Lights!" she calls and the lights turn on by themselves. "Camera!" The camera starts filming by itself. "Action!"

Lighting has found a huge book, the title of which reads, "X-Men Evolution Presents: Remy Hood!" The book is sitting on a pedestal. It opens by itself. In the book are the words, "Long ago, good King Charles of Bayville departed for the holy land on a great crusade. During his absence, Prince John his greedy and fire-obsessed brother, usurped the crown. Remy Hood was the people's only hope. He robbed from the rich to feed the poor. He was beloved by all the people of Bayville. Remy Hood and his merry men hid in Sherwood Forest."

The scene changes to Logan in his chicken outfit, sitting on a sign, holding a lute. "You know, bub, there's been a heap of legends and tall tales about Remy Hood." he growls. "All different too." He mutters under his breath, "At least I don't have to play his father in this one." Then goes back to the part he signed the contract to play, "Well, we folks of the X-Men kingdom have our own version. It's the story of what _really_ happened in Sherwood Forest, bub." Then he starts walking and whistling

The camera zooms in on Prince John, staring at a camp fire. Then on Scott has he pokes his head out of a basket. Next is Rogue running into Remy's arms. Then onto Colossus, tasting a stew. Next is Kurt bending over the same pot. Followed by Kitty, knitting. Then, Sabretooth, tying a noose while, Lance and Toad sit on top of the gallows. Then back to Logan, who stops whistling and says, "Oh, incidentally, I'm James W. Logan, a minstrel." he growls the last word angrily. "That's an early-day folk singer, and my job is to tell it like it is, or was or whatever. Like I really care."

"Read your lines from the script, Logan!" Raven calls, waving the much hated contract.

He glares at her and starts singing badly, "Remy Hood and Little Piotr were walking through the forest . . ."

Remy and Piotr are seen walking through a forest, talking and laughing incoherently underneath Logan's singing. They try to walk across a log, but both fall into a pond. They start playing in the water and swimming. Sabretooth is shown dressed in a weird costume and funny hat watching them from the bushes. Sabretooth holding a sword up menacingly and Fred, Pietro, Beast, and Mastermind stand up holding bows and aiming arrows at Remy and Piotr. Remy and Piotr hold their hands up as if they surrender, but instead they drop underneath the water.

The next scene shows them running through the forest, jumping fences, dodging trees and trying to get away. The finally do by climbing up into a tree. The archers can't figure out where they disappeared too, and so Remy and Piotr have escaped. The song finally ends, much to everyone's delight. The archer's run off.

The scene changes to Remy and Piotr sitting in the tree. "You know something, Remy? You are taking too many chances." Piotr says as he pulls an arrow out of his tunic.

"Chances?" Remy says cockily, "You must be joking. T'at was just a bit of a lark, Little Piotr. Would someone tell Remy what 'lark' means?"

"Lark, noun, a small brownish songbird: a small songbird with brownish plumage, found worldwide and noted for its song. Family: Alaudidae." Hank supplies.

"Gee, that was informative. . ." Bobby says in a monotone voice.

"Let's just get back to the play." Raven sighs.

"Da?" Piotr says. "Take a look at your hat, comrade. That is not a candle on a cake."

Remy takes the hat off and sees an arrow sticking through it. "Hello. T'is one almost had Remy's name on it, didn't it? T'ey're getting better, you know." He takes the arrow out and puts his hat back on. "You've got to admit it, mon ami, T'ey are getting better."

Piotr breaks his arrow in two. "Huh, da. The next time that sheriff vill probably have a rope around our necks." He is laying on a huge branch. He sits up and places a hand around his own neck and makes a very unconvincing gagging noise. "Pretty hard to laugh hanging there, Rem."

Remy laughs, "T'e sheriff and his whole posse couldn't lift you off t'e ground. _Engarde_!" he says while throwing the arrow at Piotr's hat.

The arrow sticks the hat to the tree. Piotr pulls it off and plucks his hat off it. "Hey, vatch it, Rem. That is the only hat I have got."

"Oh, come along," Remy says, laying on the tree as well. "You worry too much, vieux garçon." (1)

"You know something, Rem. I vas just vondering. Are we good guys or bad guys? You know. I mean, uh, our robbing the rich to feed the poor." Piotr says, scratching his back with the arrow, though he doesn't know why. It doesn't help the itch anyway, but it's in the script.

"_Rob_?" Remy says in a shocked tone of voice while sitting up quickly as if he was offended. "T'at's a naughty word, mon ami. We never rob. We just . . .sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it." There's a gleam in Remy's eyes, reminding the entire cast that he really is a thief.

"Borrow?" Piotr asks. "Boy, are ve in debt."

Offstage, Tabby blows a horn, borrowed from the Sleeping Beauty set. Remy sits up eagerly. He climbs higher in the tree and listens. He chuckles. "T'at sounds like anot'er collection day for t'e poor. Eh, Piotr?"

"Da. Sweet charity." Piotr says.

Through the woods, a line of Jaime clones is seen marching through the forest, along with Fred, Beast, Mastermind, and Pietro. The last four carry a trunk. Several Jaime clones pull a coach along. In the lead is Warren, holding a flag, who is followed closely by Tabby and her horn.

Inside the coach sit Pyro and Scott. Pyro, wearing a red robe and a crown that is falling off his head, is playing in the bags of chocolate coins that they are using for gold. "_Taxes_!" He says, laughing his insane laughter. "Taxes! Beautiful, lovely taxes! Almost as beautiful as fire!" Raven and Lightning decide to let that comment go on the basis that his character is supposed to be fire-obsessed.

Scott sits on a pillow, looking like he wishes he were somewhere, anywhere else. "Sire," he says grudgingly, "you have an absolute skill for encouraging contributions from the poor." He tries to chuckle, but it comes out very fake.

Pyro however, is really getting into his part. "To coin a phrase, me _dear_ counselor, rob the poor to feed the rich." He laughs as the joke. "Am I right?" He leans over to Scott and elbows him a little harder than it calls for. The crown falls off. Scott laughs like a person does when they don't think something's funny. "Tell me, what's the next stop, Sir Scott?" Pyro picks up the crown and looks at it. One of the jewels reminds him of a fire.

Scott goes over to a map. "Uh, let me see. . . Uh, I. . . Oh, yes, the next stop is Nottingham, sire." he spits out the last word. Then, he goes and gets a mirror to hold up for Pyro.

"Oh! The richest plum of them all!" Pyro says happily. He places the crown back on his head. "Nottingham." He laughs evilly. The crown falls down into his eyes.

"A perfect fit, sire," Scott says sarcastically. "Most becoming. You look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble, chival. . ."

Pyro cuts him off. "Uh, uh, don't. Don't overdo it, Scott." Pyro is immensely enjoying this. He replaces the crown correctly. "There. That, I believe, does it. This crown gives me a feeling of _power_! _Power_! Forgive me a cruel chuckle." He gives a cruel chuckle. "Power. Hmm. Fire."

"And how well King Charles' crown sits on your noble brow." Scott drones.

Pyro grabs the mirror. "Doesn't it? Uh, _King_ Charles? I've told you never to mention my brother's name!" He strangles Scott.

"A, A mere slip of the tongue, Your Majesty." Scott says as soon as he stops coughing. "We're in this plot together, if you don't mind my saying so." Scott glares at Raven and Lightning who are both grinning wickedly at him.

Lightning whispers in her ear, "If the kiss-up fits. . ." She laughs.

"And remember, it was your idea I hypnotized him and . . ." Scott continues.

"I know." Pyro says, cutting him off. "And sent him off on that crazy crusade." They both laugh.

"Much to the sorrow of the Queen Mother." Scott says.

"Yes! Mother." Pyro says sadly. "Mother always did like Charles best. Do I really have to do the next part, mate?" he begs.

"Yes!" The directors say at the same time.

Pyro mutters, but sticks his thumb in his mouth and suck on it. His other hand grasps his ear.

"Your highness, please don't do that. If you don't mind me saying so, you see, you have a very loud thumb. Hypnotism could rid you of your . . .psychosis. . ." He pulls out a watch.

"What in the bloody world is psychosis?" Pyro asks.

"A loss of contact with reality." Raven says, before Hank can define it fully. "Now, go back to sucking your thumb!"

He does. "so . . . easily." Scott starts waving the watch back and forth in front of Pyro's eyes.

Pyro starts to fall under the spell of the shiny watch, but then realizes what Scott is doing and swats his hand away. "No! None of that! None of that."

"Well, I was only trying to help."

Pyro laughs, "I wonder, silly cyclops."

"'Silly cyclops'?" Scott sounds hurt.

"Now look here." Pyro says, looking in the mirror again. "One more word out of you, Scott, and you are _walking_ to Nottingham."

Scott turns around and mumbles something that almost sounds like a retort.

"And cut!" Raven calls. "Well, it was not good."

"It wasn't _that_ bad." Lightning says.

"Are we really going to have this same old argument again?" she asks.

"Yes." he nods his head.

"I'm not in the mood." she says and waves her hand at him, sending him through the brick wall with her telekinesis. The cast should have been shocked and worried about him, but they are starting to get used to it.

He gets up and dusts himself off. "Well, that was painful."

"I could make it worse."

"Well, you could try." He taunts her. She turns on him angrily. The rest of the cast run and hide. Even Lightning look a little worried.

I suggest we run and hid with the cast. . .

* * *

A/N: Well, that was fun, next is the Robbing of Prince John. . .lol. . . Hope you enjoy it, please review.

Translation:

(1) "old boy."


	3. Scene 2: Rob The Rich

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews: 

To kyo-kitty: The Little Mermaid has already been done as a Jott, and I only have it on VHS. I've got to go buy a new VCR. . . I don't own the sequel to it, but Rachel would fit. . . Glad you liked the line, it was the first thing that came into my head. Lol.

To Cat2Fat900: SQUIRRELS FOR WORLD DOMINATION! Oops, sorry, Randall got a hold of my keyboard. . . Thank you for your review. . . hedgehogs are evil . . .I don't think Raven would take it away if he just attacked Scott with it, though. . . Actually that's Sabretooth's part, but I think he'll have a hand in it behind the scenes. . .C-ya at the SFWD meeting. Randall's baking cookies.

To Crash Slayer: Lady Kluck is Maid Marion's lady-in-waiting. Mind out of gutter (unless it's implying something about Jean who is playing the mother)! Read CF's "Why You Should Never Listen to The Senile Bald Dude," where Professor Xavier and Magneto have both lost their minds. I'd love to see Logan in a chicken suit. I have no idea why, though. Glad you like the beginnings of Kiotr. :) I feel my loyalest readers need a special treat. It's kinda like when a little boy has a crush on a little girl and so he pulls her hair and throws things at her. Same situation with Wanda. Yes, because Little John wears a tunic in the movie. He is called Little Piotr because Little John is always called Little John and always played by a rather large individual. It's an irony thing. They were walking, _nothing else_. There will be absolutely _no_ Piotremy in this story. That _is_ fun to say though. I thought Pyro was perfect for the part, plus hee hee his name_ is_ John. Oh there's a lot of Prince John beating Sir Hiss in Robin Hood. Thank you very much.

To Lyrit Liltrick: Aladdin's already been done, it's a Jott. Same with The Little Mermaid. But I could never write a story that focuses on Jott. I'd get too sick. I've never read Pride and Prejudice. I want to though. I don't know about Jean Luc, but he was in the show, so he might so up as an extra. . .

To Nightshade-89: My inspiration for this story. I don't think Logan would fit as Lady Kluck, he'd tear up the set, kill Raven, attempt to kill Lightning, and half the cast of Evo then run off in a horrible rage and turn into a evil scary villian. . . Thanks, I'm sure they'd like you too. I've forgotten that part. But I chose Piotr because I thought he would be closer to Remy than Blob. I'm glad you hand is healing nicely. :) Get all better soon. I've never seen Quest For Camelot, but I know there is a parody of it on FFnet somewhere, with Rahne as the star I think. You're Welcome and Thank you.

To Chica De Los Ojos Cafe: Thank you.

To Foxy-Glove: Thanks, I'm an inspiration? I feel special. Thanks a lot.

* * *

Remy Hood 

Scene 2: Rob The Rich

Raven and Lightning walk into the studio in the middle of a battle. Sabretooth and Wolverine are at it again. Even though Wolverine isn't in his costume. Raven rolls her eyes and decides to ignore it. They aren't needed for the first part anyway. She just grabs a bagel and spreads cream cheese and her trusty cayenne pepper on it.

Scott happens to be walking by when she takes the first bit and shudders. "Cream cheese and cayenne pepper."

"It's got to better than powdered donuts and cayenne pepper," Jean mentions.

Scott nods.

The professor and Magneto eventually break up the fight by knocking both Logan and Victor unconscious. "Thank you." Raven remarks. "Now, let's get to work. Lights! Camera! Action!"

The scene starts with Remy and Piotr running through the forest, hurridly trying to finish putting on the rest of their costumes. They are both wearing dresses and wigs. They reach the side of the road where the procession is going by. Tabby blows her horn.

"Now vhat about that for luck?" Piotr asks as he ties a red scarf over his blonde wig. "It is only a circus. A peanut operation."

Remy rubs his hands together excitedly. "'Peanuts'? Why, you cancre. (1) T'at's t'e royal coach. C'est Prince John himself."

"The prince?" Piotr asks. "Vait a minute. There is law against robbing royalty." He starts to walk off. "I vill catch you later, comrade."

Remy runs out to stop him. "What? And miss t'is chance to perform before royalty?"

Piotr places his hand on his head, "Ah, here ve go again."

They hop out into view. "Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally!" Remy calls in a feminine voice that promisses several of the other cast members will blackmail him later. Especially Rogue who is holding a tape recorder. "Fortune-tellers!"

"Fortunes forcast! Lucky charms!" Piotr calls in his normal voice, tossing up a crystal ball. Remy glares at him. Piotr shrugs with a slight smirk.

"Get t'e dope wit' your horoscope." Remy says in the feminine voice, pulling out a scroll. In his normal voice he asks, "Who t'e idiot who came up wit' t'at line, huh?"

"Well, don't look at me!" Raven calls, "I'm just the director, not the author!"

Remy shrugs. Pyro parts the curtains of the coach and peeps out. "Fortune-tellers! How droll. Uh, stop the coach!" The group of Jaime clones who are pulling it try to slow down. They drop in handles with a sigh of relief.

Scott peeps over his shoulder. "Sire, sire. They may be bandits."

"Oh, poppycock. Now there's a funny word. Poppycock. Poppycock."

"Uh, Pyro, the script?" Lightning calls.

"Oh, yeah, _Female_ bandits?"

"And why wouldn't they be female bandits?" Jean calls. "Just because men are. . ."

She is cut off by Raven saying. "Prince John just isn't smart enough to realize that, Jean Grey!"

"What next? Rubbish." Pyro calls. He is the only one there that sounds remotely English, being Austrailian and all. He laughs insanely. "Um, um, my dear ladies." he says as Remy and Piotr curtsy to him. A camera flashes and Pietro is wearing a rather large smile. "You have my permission to kiss the royal hands." Said hands are covered in gold rings. The rings are each set with a remarkably large jewel. The jewels aren't set very well and look as if they could easily come off the ring. "Whichever you like, first."

"Oh, How gracious!" Remy says while removing the ring off of one hand. Pyro doesn't even notice as Remy kisses his hand. Another camera flash. Then, takes out a bar of soap and starts rubbing it across his lips. Raven and Lightning roll their eyes. "and generous."

Scott gasps. "Sire! Sire!" she whispers into Pyro's ear. "Did you see what they. . ."

"Stop!" Pyro says laughing. "Stop hissing in my ear." He rubs it to stop the timgling.

Meanwhile, Piotr kisses the three rings on the other hand and the jewels come right out. Scott looks at him and he smiles, revealing the jewels. Scott immediately returns to stammering directly in Pyro's ear, tickling it again. "Ah!" Pyro calls, grabbing Scott by the neck. "Scott! Oh, you've whispered your last whisper!" He strangles Scott once again and Scott is struggling for breath afterwards. Then. Pyro sees a large basket with a lid. He shoves Scott into it, and sits on it. The basket caves in a little, crushing Scott thoroughly. "Suspicious snake." Pyro mutters.

"Masterfully done, your excellency." Remy says, entering the coach and standing next to him. He chuckles and pulls a rope, shutting the curtains. "Now close your eyes . . . and concentrate. Close your eyes. Tight shut. No peeking, sire." He says as Pyro was just peeking. Pyro closes them tightly. Gambit chuckles again and glances at the bag of chocolate coins on the floor. "From the mists of time," he says, waving his hands back and forth. "come forth, spirits." He says more to the curtain than the spirits. "Yoo-hoo!" he calls nervously.

"Okay, little fireflies. Glow, babies, glow." Piotr is shaking a clear globe filled with fireflies, which is attached to what resembles a fishing pole. He picks up the pole.

"We're waiting!" Remy calls. And the fireflies enter the coach. "Ah, oh! Look, sire. Look!" Remy points to the ball. Pyro looks up.

He looks shocked. "Oh, incredible. Floating fire-spirits." He reaches out to touch them, but Remy smacks his hand.

"Ah, oh! Naughty, naughty. You mustn't touch, jeune homme." (2)

Pyro nurses his sore hand, still not noticing the emptiness of his rings. "Oh, how dare you strike the royal hand."

"Shh! You'll break t'e spell. Just gaze into the crystal ball." The ball lands in the middle of the table that is between them. "Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lal . . .oh!" Remy says. "A face appears." Pyro gasps. "A crown in on his noble brow."

"Oo-de-lally." Pyro chants, just a little too believably. "A crown! How exciting!" He holds his hands to the one on his head.

"His face is handsome, regal, majestic, loveable." Pyro is eating it up. Piotr listens in disgust. "a cuddly face."

"Handsome, regal, oh! Majestic. Loveable. Yes, yes. Cuddly." He laughs. "Oh, that's me to a "t," shelia. It really is. Yes."

He doesn't notice Remy reaching for the bag of "gold." Scott however is peeping out of the basket and manages to stick his hand through a hole and smack Remy's before he can get the bag.

"I. . ." Remy says rubbing his hand.

"Now what?" Pyro asks.

"I, uh," Remy chuckles, "I see, um, your illustrious name."

"I know my name! Get on with it!" Pyro blares.

Meanwhile, Scott is grabbing the bag and pulling it closer to the basket. Remy reaches once more for the bag, grabbing it, and says, "Your name will go down, down, down," He finally pulls it out of Scott's hand. "in history, of course." He hands the bag, out of the curtain into Piotr's waiting hands.

"Yes! I knew it! I knew it!" Pyro yells excitedly. "Do you hear that, Scott? Oh, you. . ." He hears Scott mumbling through the basket. "He's in the basket." He starts punching the basket. "Don. . . Don't you forget it."

Piotr is stuffing the bag of coins into the bosom of his dress, creating a rather larger effect than before. He's walks away and pauses when he notices the hubcaps on the coach. "Hmm, vhat have ve here? Solid-gold hubcaps. He manages to hide all four of them underneath the dress, which creates a larger butt for him. "Oo-de-lally! The jackpot." He says, noticing the trunk. Taking a knife, he drills in the bottom of the trunk. Amazingly, enough the guards don't notice him. The gold falls into his dress, making the bosom even larger.

Fred hears the noise and makes a suspicious face, but all he sees is the well-endowed Piotr in drag, walking away. He gets happy and whistles. Pietro flashes another picture. Piotr makes a flirty face and waves at him while batting his eyes. Then runs off around the corner of the coach into the woods. Remy runs out of the coach, carrying yet another bag of chocolate coins and wearing the robe, Pyro had been wearing. They bump into each other, causing gold to fly everywhere. They pick it up quickly.

The curtains open and Pyro is standing there in long underwear and the crown. He watches the "fortune-tellers" running away. He notices the laughing Remy is wearing his robe. "Robbed! I've been robbed! Scott! You're never around when I need you!" Scott pokes his head out of the basket. He climbs out and runs up to Pyro. "Ahem. I've been robbed."

"Of course you've been robbed!" Scott says.

Remy is shown running away, shouting "Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally!"

Piotr is running after him, holding the train of the robe, "Fortunes forcast! Lucky charms." He waves at Fred, who waves back at him.

"After them, you fools!" Pyro orders. Fred, Pietro, Hank and Mastermind grab axes that happen to be lying around and chase after them. The Jaime clones pick up the handles of the coach and start running too. However, it so happens that the hubcaps were keeping the wheels on the axles and they come off. Jaime's clones keep pulling the coach and Pyro flies out the back, straight into the mud, where the guard trample over him. He starts throwing a temper tantrum and shouting, "No, no no no!"

Scott has also fallen out into the same puddle. "I knew it. I knew it. I just knew this would happen." He says, picking up his muddy hat and placing it on his head. "I tried to warn you, but no. You wouldn't listen. You just had to. . ." Pyro is seen holding the mirror up over his head. "Ah, ah, ah! Seven years' bad . . ." The mirror slams down on Scott's head. "Ooh! Luck. That's what it is. Besides, you broke your mother's mirror."

Pyro wails, "Mommy!" He sticks his thumb in his mouth, and his hand to his ear, though he isn't happy about it. His thumb is muddy and he pulls it out. "I've got a dirty thumb."

"And cut!" Lightning shouts. "Well, it was a little better than yesterday."

"Only because Pyro likes his part." Raven says.

"Got that right, shelia." He winks at her and Wanda gets angry, but not enough to do anything. She just stands there, her face growing red and clutching her fists.

Rogue is laughing as Remy tears off the dress and wig. He throws them at the floor with relish. "Remy ain't wearing drag ever again."

"Ah, but ya looked so cute, Miss Lebeau." Rogue teases.

He glares at her, "Rogue, chere, t'ere is little you can do t'at'll make Remy mad, but keep it up, sister, and Remy will get very mad, very quickly."

"Right. . . That'll be the day." Rogue mutters. Remy does get mad and starts chasing her around the studio. Eventually, he forgets he's mad and just enjoys the chase and Rogue's rare, but beautiful laughter.

Raven shakes her head. "Lawr, are we ever that bad?" She points at them.

"Yes!" yells half the cast.

A distinct scream is heard, coming from the showers, where Scott is alone, washing off the mud. "No! No! Not that! Anything but that!"

Everyone shrugs and goes back to what they were doing before.

Kitty comes up to Piotr and hugs him. "Like, you were so great!"

"Do you really think so, Katya?" He is pulling off his own dress and wig.

"Like totally."

"Well," sighs Raven, "I guess I'd rather be like Rogue and Gambit than Kitty and Piotr."

"Yeah. . . I suppose. . ."

"What do you mean, you suppose?"

"What did it sound like I meant?"

"So, you're not happy with our relationship?"

"That is _not_ what I said!"

"That's what it sounded like!"

"You're so cute when you're angry." he smiles at her.

She throws her hands up in the air, screaming with frustration and walks into the shadows to disappear.

Lightning follows her with a smirk and so shall we. . .

* * *

A/N: lol. Well, I hope you all enjoyed Remy and Piotr in drag. Plus Scott bashing, literally, and Pyro getting robbed. . . Next up . . . It's Bobby Bunny's Birthday. . . and of course, Sabretooth will want to ruin it. . . Have fun and review please. :) 

Translation:

(1) "dunce"

(2) "young man"


	4. Scene 3: Does Anyone Know

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. Rachel looks normal. She has Remy's hair, only really long, and Rogue's eyes. Who wouldn't get into a part where you get to beat Scott up all the time?

To Cat2Fat900: Cookies and Pixie Stix. . . sounds like a good meeting. Lol. Thanks a lot. :) Do you know what you made me do today? I passed Pixy Stix in the store and bought a bag, when I haven't had them since high school . . . Now, I'm going to have a sugar rush all night. . .

To Crash Slayer: Who knows where they found it. Piotr was in a dress because Little John was in the movie. I've said that very thing, every time I watch this movie. Well, lucky charms can also just be things like rabbit's feet and four leaf clovers. . . It _is_ a funny word. Which is why Jean overreacted. . .I'm sure they had trouble doing that one. . .Mind out of gutter. Lol. I know, I hate EvoScott. Once again, mind out of gutter. Lol. I'm glad Scott abuse makes you so happy. I think Kitty might be buying pictures off of Pietro. . .Ah, Scott, I loved giving him the part of Sir Hiss. . . Don't worry, no more drag in the movie. As for the party, What party? Do you mean the SFWD meeting? Of course you can come, as long as you believe in evil flame-throwing squirrels taking over the world and want to help them. . . CF and I would be glad for you to join us.

To SugahDevil: Thank you. I plan on it, but I haven't decided which one. . . It depends on whether or not I can get a new VCR this weekend. . . Maybe Snow White. Anything to get Rogue in a dress. Lol.

To el diablo: Thank you very much.

* * *

Remy Hood

Scene 3: Does Anyone Know It's Bobby Bunny's Birthday? (1)

When Raven and Lightning walk in, they are silent. Raven is clearly ignoring Lightning.

"What happened to you two?" Bobby asks Lightning.

"You know that fight we had yesterday?"

"Which one?" Ray asks.

Lightning rolls his eyes. "Let's just says Raven never forgets anything, just like an elephant." He says the last part rather loudly.

"Oh, so now I'm an elephant, am I?" she shouts.

"I knew that would get you to talk to me again." Her response to this is to slap him, turn around in a big huff and walk to her director's chair. She sits down and glares at nothing in particular. "Ravie," he pleads. "It was one little comment."

"Oh, so you still think I'm mad over what you _said_? I _am_ a telepath you know!"

"_Pleas_e, I said I was sorry."

"Do I look like I care?"

Kitty watches on in disbelief and turns to Piotr, "And I thought Rogue and Gambit were bad. . ."

"Da." he returns.

"What exactly did ya mean by that, Kitty?" Rogue asks, angry. "Gambit and I aren't a couple."

"Coulda fooled me." Jean mutters.

"You take that back, Jean Grey!" Rogue shouts.

"Great, now you all had to go and upset ma chere." Remy says, narrowing his eyes and fingering a card gingerly.

"For the last time, Remy Lebeau, Ah ain't your chere!" she yells and runs off to her dressing room to calm down. Lying always makes her very angry.

"Alright, that's enough! I'm sick of listening to _you_ whine and _them_ fight!" Raven shouts as she points, first to Lightning and then to Kitty, Piotr, Jean and Remy. "Places! Lights! Camera! Action!"

The camera focuses first on a wanted poster of Remy, beautifully painted by the one and only Piotr Rasputin. The poster is hanging on a tree and says it will pay one thousand pounds. From behind the tree, pokes Logan in his chicken suit, playing his lute, "Well, even though Prince John offered a huge reward for the capture of Remy Hood, that elusive rogue, no offense Stripes."

"None taken," she says, having left the dressing room.

"Ahem." Raven says glaring.

So Logan goes back to his sentence, "that elusive rogue kept right on robbing the rich to feed the poor. And believe me, it's a good thing he did," the camera zooms in on "surprise!" Duncan Matthews in a stockade, with Taryn Fujioka feeding him some sort of soup which Kitty made. Duncan looks very ill. "'cause what with taxes and all, the poor folks of Nottingham were starving to death. Don't look so smug Sabretooth!" Sabretooth growls in return. A fight looks inevitable.

"People, today, is not the day to make Raven mad!" Lightning calls. Sabretooth and Logan both growl at him, but stand down.

The camera zooms in on Jean Luc Lebeau and Scott's friend Paul in another stockade. It zooms quickly to a lane where Sabretooth is strutting. "Uh-oh," Logan snarls. "Here comes old bad news himself," and he isn't acting, "I am not calling _him_ honorable!"

"It's a title! Not a compliment!" Raven screams in rage. Everyone backs slightly from her. "Sorry, I'm better now," she says calmly. "Let's get on with it."

"Okay," Logan says, deciding it was better to just stick to the script. "The Honorable Sheriff Sabretooth."

Sabretooth is singing, unwillingly. Forge, Raven and Lightning had installed a electric shock device to his costume. "Every town, has it's taxes too. . ." He continues until he sees Kurt, dressed as a monk, coming out of a door. "Well, lookie there," he growls. "Friar Kurt, the old do-gooder. He out doing good again."

Kurt walks quickly to another door, looking around to see if he was followed. Then, walks into the building. Inside is Ray, wearing a cast on his right leg, leaning against a crutch and banging a piece of hot metal against an anvil with a very large sledge hammer. "Well, good morning, Friar Kurt." Ray says.

"Shh, Ray. Shh. For you, Ray, from Remy Hood." He chuckles as he pulls out a small bag of chocolate coins.

Ray takes the bag eagerly. "Oh, God Bless Remy Hood."

The Sheriff walks closer to the door, singing once again. He knocks on the door. Through the door, Sabretooth can hear Kurt's voice, "It's ze sheriff! Hurry, Hide it! Quick!"

"Here I come. Ready or not." snarls Sabretooth, opening the door and stepping inside. "Well, greetings from your friendly neighborhood tax collector." An evil grin forms on Sabretooth's face. He rubs his hands together.

Ray rubs his sides as if in pain. Kurt is holding a pair of tongs, which hold what looks like a red hot horseshoe, over the anvil. "Oh, take it easy on me, Sheriff, w-what with this busted leg and all, you know." He holds his broken leg up. "I, I'm way behind in me work, Sheriff."

Sabretooth, who is leaning a hand on the door, says, "I know, Ray, but you're way behind with your taxes too." He points at him accusingly.

Kurt turns to Sabretooth, "Oh, have a heart, Sheriff." He walks over to a rocking chair. "Can't you see he's laid up? Come on, Ray. You'd better sit down and rest."

Ray starts limping over to the chair. The camera focuses on his cast while Jubilee bounces some change in her hand near the mic. "Oh, thank you. Yes."

Sabretooth perks up an ear and puts a hand behind it, a big grin on his evil face. "Let me give you a hand with that leg," he says as Ray sits in the chair, with Kurt behind it, steadying it. Sabretooth has found a footstool and brings it over. He picks up Ray's cast and lifts it way into the air. "Upsa-daisy. Bingo!" he says as coins fall out of the cast into his waiting hand. "Ah, what they won't think of next." He pats the bottom of the cast, causing Ray to wince and cry out in pain. Apparently, Bobby put a thorn in the bottom earlier as a prank. More coins fall out of the cast. "It smarts, don't it, don't it, Ray? Who talks like this?" ZAP! Sabretooth starts twitching as tons of electricity flows through his body. "Okay, I'll be good, Mommy. . ." he mumbles, almost incoherently, before returning to his senses. "But Prince John says that Taxes should hurt."

Kurt raises his fists high above his blue furry head and says angrily, "Now see here, you . . . you evil, flint-hearted leech!"

"Oh, that's a good one," Tabby exclaims.

"Now, now, now, now! Save your sermon, preacher. It ain't Sunday, you know." He walks away, laughing and singing to himself. "They call me a slob, but I do my job . . ."

The scene changes to a little cottage, where several small Jaime clones, Jubilee, and Amara are singing Happy Birthday to Bobby. Jean is there, wearing a black, long sleeve dress and a gray apron, a maroon scarf that clashing against her red hair, and a pair of overly- large glasses. In other words, she looks ridiculous. Jubilee is wearing a very short orange dress, with little lacy socks and shoes, and a big matching bow in her hair, to make her look like a teenager pretending to be a little girl Amara, who is scowling, is wearing a footed, blue sleeper and holding a bunny rag doll. The Jaime clones are all dancing around to the song and Jean, Jubilee, Bobby, and Amara are standing around watching them. Jean hands Bobby a present.

Sabretooth comes bounding through the door, and sings the last line, "Happy Birthday to you!" All the Jaime clones stop dancing and huddle around Jean. Bobby holds his present closely. "Well, now, sonny, that box is done up right pretty, ain't it?"

Bobby says politely, "Well, Mr. Sheriff, sir, it's my birthday present, sir."

"It sure is. Why don't you open it?"

Bobby sits down and opens the present, "Oh boy! One whole farthing!" He tips the box over to pour it out, but it lands in Sabretooth's hands. Bobby looks like he's about to cry.

"Have you no _heart_?" Jean cries.

"I coulda told you _that_." Logan groans.

Jean glares at him for interrupting her very first line. "We all scrimped and saved to give it to him." Jubilee and Amara come out from hiding behind her to nod their heads in agreement.

"Now that's mighty thoughty of you, widder woman." He says, truly enjoying making fun of Jean. "The family that saves together pays together." A tear drops falls from Bobby's eyes as Pietro has just squirted lemon juice in them. "Oh, now, don't take it so hard, sonny." He pats Bobby on the head. "Prince John wishes you a happy birthday too."

Just then, an old, blind beggar stumbles into their door. "Alms, alms, alms for the poor."

Sabretooth is holding the coin in his hand. A villainous look flashes in his eyes, "Hmm, well." He chuckles and tosses the coin hard into the beggar's cup. It hits the bottom and bounces back up into the air, causing several other coins to do so as well. The family gasps. "Well, so far it's been a cheerful morning. Keep saving." He walks out of their house.

Jean walks towards the beggar who is shaking the empty cup, "What a dirty trick. You poor old man. Do come in. Come in and rest yourself." She starts leading him to a chair.

"T'ank ye kindly, Mot'er. T'ank ye. Tell me now. Did me old ears hear someone singing a birt'day ditty?" asks the old man.

Bobby is crying very hard, because the lemon juice is burning his eyes. "Yes, sir. And that mean old sheriff took my birthday present."

"Did he now? But be a stout'earted little lad, and don't let it get ya down." He lifts his glasses, revealing a pair of red-on-black eyes."

Pietro comes and super speedily washes the lemon juice from Bobby's eyes. Bobby stops crying, but looks murderously at Pietro. "Gee whiz! It's Remy Hood!"

Remy removes his costume and stands up. "Happy birt'day, son!"

Jubilee speaks up, "Oh, he's so handsome, just like his reward posters." Bobby glares at her.

"Tell me, jeune homme, (2) how old are you today?"

"Gosh, I'm seven years old, going on eight." Bobby then glares at Raven and Lightning, who are both smiling at him annoyingly.

"Seven? Well, t'at does make you t'e man of t'e house, and Remy got just t'e right present for you." He pulls out a bow and one arrow.

"For me?" ask Bobby with a mischievous grin on his face. "Gee, thanks, Mr. Remy Hood, sir. Hey, how do I look? Huh?" He pulls back the arrow in the bow and poses for his "sisters."

Amara has been standing with her thumb in her mouth, but she now pulls it out. "Not much like Mr. Remy Hood."

"She's right," Remy says. "T'ere is somet'ing missing." He gasps, "Of course!" He takes of his hat and plops it onto Bobby's head. The hat, being Remy's size, is slightly larger than Bobby's head. "T'ere you go."

"Boy, oh, boy, Now how do I look?" Bobby asks the girls again.

The girls giggle and Jubilee says to Amara, "The hat's too big."

"Shh! Mind your manners," Jean says.

"Yes, mind your manners." Amara says with her hands on her hips.

Remy chuckles, "Don't worry. You'll grow into it, jeune homme."

"Oo-de-lally! I'm gonna go try it out!" He races off.

"Good-bye, Mr. Remy Hood!" waves Amara as she follows Bobby. "Come again, on my birthday."

Jean laughs, "Oh, you have made his birthday a wonderful one." She pats his arm and Remy shrugs her off. "How can I ever thank you?" She clasps her hands together.

"Remy only wish he could do more." He says, taking out a bag of chocolate coins and giving them to her. "Voici. (3) And keep your chin up. Someday t'ere'll be happiness again in Nottingham. You'll see." he puts his beggar outfit back on. He walks out.

"Oh, Remy Hood," Jean sighs. "You've risked so much to keep our hopes alive. Bless you. Bless you." There are tears in Jean's eyes as she pinches herself very hard.

"And cut!" Raven says.

"I'm gonna kill you, Pietro!" Bobby yells and starts chasing Pietro around and shooting spears of ice at him.

"Bobby, would you knock it off, before you kill someone?" Jubilee yells at him after he almost hits her with an ice spear.

"He sprayed lemon juice in my eyes!" Bobby screams.

"Hey, Iwasheditout!" yells Pietro.

"Raven, please listen to me," Lightning says through the ruckus.

"Don't have to. Don't want to." she says, trying to leave.

"Ah don't want ta hear it, Remy Lebeau!" Rogue is yelling as well.

Jean shrugs, "Like mother, like daughter."

Both Raven and Rogue turn on her at that comment. "Jean Grey! Prepare to die!" They say and both start to chase her around the room.

Scott shudders and starts whimpering, "Now _that_ is even scarier than when her and Lightning do it."

"I hear ya, bub." Logan shudders as well.

"Well, Rogue certainly can't deny her. . ." Hank says as they finally reach Jean, who is screaming. Both of them start beating her up.

"Must be zat time of ze month," Kurt whispers.

"What did you say?" Kitty asks, offended. Piotr is standing behind and converting to metal form. His fist hits his hand.

"Uh, nozing?" (4)

This is a very good time to leave them, until the next fight, uh, I mean until the next time. . . That's right, until next time.

* * *

A/N: Well, hope you enjoyed reading this one. Next time, Bobby tries out his new arrow and it lands in Prince John's backyard! Fortunately, he isn't home, but Rogue and Kitty are. . .Review please!

(1) If anyone actually knows where I got that title you get a invisible pie. . . (I changed the name, though)

Translation:

(2)"young man"

(3)"here"

(4) "nothing"


	5. Scene 4: Lost Arrow

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. Yes and Jean probably looks awful too. Just for fun. She's probably hating this part very much.

To Cat2Fat900: Wasn't it? I thought it went very well. We should really work on Oops. . . I didn't eat them all at once, silly. Just a_ nice_ blast of energy every now and again.

To Crash Slayer: Silly girl. Lol. No, a lute is a prehistoric version of a guitar. Well, since I put in the part about him having a shock device in his costume, I _had_ to use it. I actually don't know what a farthing is. It's a British coin of some sort. Remy's older, as a bigger head. I thought you'd like that part. Lol.

To el diablo: Thank you very much. Kurt didn't get hurt, well, too much. I like Kurt too much to let him get hurt badly. You have no idea. They don't often team up, but when they do. . . check out KnK's review response for the answer to (1).

To Nightshade-89: Thank you. I've never seen Chicago. Glad your hand is better :)

To Tigerlilly1234 and Rogue Gal: Thank you very much.

To Kouchen no Kouken: Ha! You are wrong. . . but on the right track. It was a book called "Honey Bear's Birthday." Inside the book is a song that starts off, "Does anyone know it's Honey Bear's birthday?" So I put Bobby Bunny in place of Honey Bear. Lol. I like that, Ravning. Hmm, I might use that in the future. Lol. I'm sorry you don't enjoy them. They're meant as a special treat for my more faithful readers. I'm glad you find them more realistic in this one :) I'll be sure to put Rogue and Remy in more scene endings. Lol. I see you are right about his last name. Hmm. . . I've seen it written both ways (check out his profile in Beyond Evolution http/ x-men. toonzone. net/ 20040101news. php (without the spaces). They have it written both ways in the same profile.) Too late to change it now, but in the next story, I'll write it LeBeau. I always want to write it that way anyway. Same in my other story, sequel will get it right.

* * *

Remy Hood

Scene 4: Lost Arrow

Remy is smiling until he sees Raven and Lightning walking in hand in hand. Then, he smile turns quickly into a frown, "Remy t'ought you two were fighting."

"Oh, that was yesterday," Raven says lightly, knowing it will annoy him.

The Cajun thief frowns deeper.

"What's the matter, Cajun? Jealous?" Rogue says, with raised eye brows. She is clearly enjoying his discomfort.

"You know Remy ain't jealous of t'at boy. He just don't don't like him."

"Well, _Ah_ t'ink you're overreacting. Besides, Raven can_ clearly _take care of herself." Rogue grins at him slyly. "She must take after me." Then, before he can answer, she runs into her dressing room.

Raven is also enjoying her father's discomfort as she gently places a kiss on Lightning's cheek. "He'll get over it."

"Uh huh, like he did in _our_ dimension?" Lightning says sarcastically.

"Well, uh, well. . . . why don't we just start the play?" Raven says, quickly changing the subject.

"Ah can't believe this!" Rogue shouts as she steps out in her costume. "Pink and purple? _Pink_ and _purple_? Why does _Jean_ get ta wear black?"

"But, chere, you look tres magnifique in t'ose colors."

Raven rolls her eyes, "Places! Lights! Camera! Action!"

Bobby, Jubilee, Amara, and Evan all run down a road surrounded by buildings until they reach a clearing. Bobby stops and readies his new bow and arrow. Evan is wearing a green turtleneck and matching green pants, plus a pair of ridiculous glasses and a very stupid-looking brown hat. He hates his outfit. "Gee, did Remy Hood really give it to you?" he asks without enthusiasm.

"Yeah," Bobby says, trying not to laugh at Evan's outfit. "and this is his own hat, too."

"Gee, I'd sure like to shoot your bow and arrow," Evan sighs and then adds under his breath, "right into Raven's head."

Three people hear his comment, among them, Wolverine and Sabretooth rather agree with him. Lightning on the other hand is furious and zaps Evan with a bolt of electricity from his hands. "Didn't know I could do that, did ya?" He laughs. Raven gives him an odd look. "What? He said something I didn't like."

"Can we get on with this?" Raven growls.

"How did he do that?" Tabitha asks.

"How'd you think he got the name Lightning anyway?" Raven says, annoyed, shaking her head. "The play?"

"Let me try it, Bobby!" Amara says holding her hand out.

"Oh, no you don't! I'm gonna shoot it first!" Bobby says holding the bow up recklessly.

"You're pointing it too high!" Jubilee warns.

"I'm not either. Watch this." Bobby says, lowering the arrow anyway and then shooting it. The arrow flies high in the air, right beyond the walls of a castle. The four "kids" watch this all in shock.

"Uh-oh. Now you've done it." Evan says, still without enthusiasm.

Jubilee has her hands on her face, "Right into Prince John's backyard."

Bobby takes on a determined look and starts running towards the castle. The others follow quickly. They reach a gate and it looks as if Bobby is about to go in. "Bobby, you can't go in there," Amara pleads.

"Yeah, Prince John will chop off your head." Evan points at Bobby's head. He hides as much of his head as he can fit in his turtleneck and says, "like this."

"Oh, I don't care. I gotta get my arrow." And Bobby tries to climb through the gate. The hole is much too small so he freezes the gate and breaks the bars. Then slides right through.

"Wait a minute," Jubilee says. "Evan might tattle on you."

"Yeah, Evan," Bobby says as Evan pokes his head all the way out of the sweater. "You got to take the oath."

"An oath?" Evan asks.

"Put your hand on your heart and cross your eyes." Amara says, mimicking her words with her actions. Jubilee, Evan and Bobby follow suit.

"Spiders, snakes and a lizard head." Bobby says.

"Spiders, snakes and a lizard head." Evan repeats.

Bobby then gets into his face and says, "If I tattletale, I'll die till I'm dead."

Evan backs up, but repeats, "If I tattletale, I'll die till I'm dead." Then he tries to look confident.

Bobby climbs through the fence again. Jubilee, Evan and Amara watch anxiously on the other side. Bobby walks along apprehensively. He stops when he hears the sound on to women laughing.

"It's, like, your turn to serve, Anna dear." Kitty's voice is heard off stage.

"Are ya ready, Lady Katherine?" Rogue's voice asks, also off stage.

"Oh, as, like, your lady-in-waiting, I'm, like totally, waiting." Kitty says, dressed as a higher servant in light blue. She bows gracefully to Rogue. She is holding a racket and standing in front of a crudely made net. Both girls laugh. Rogue serves the birdie and Kitty hits it. Rogue is wearing a pink and purple outfit with a big hat and matching gloves. She hits the birdie easily back to Kitty. Bobby watches all of the from the bushes as they continue their game of badmitten. Then, he sees his arrow stuck in the ground behind the court. "I'm, like, getting too old for this."

"Kitty, that was a good shot."

"You're, like, not bad yourself, dear. Oh, like, my girdle's, like totally, killing me." She groans and then laughs. Rogue hits the birdie high up in the air. It falls, down, down until it lands inside Kitty's dress. She gasps and looks down her dress and then quickly covers up and starts shaking her dress.

"Where is it? Did ya lose it?" Rogue asks.

"Oh, it, like, must be in there somewhere," she says as she starts jumping up and down while still shaking her dress. "This is, like, so embarrassing."

"Stick to the script, Kitty." Lightning calls.

"Oh, Kitty, ya look so silly." Rogue says while glaring fiercely at Lightning. She giggles. "Oh look. There it is behind ya." The birdie happens to land next to Bobby's arrow. Bobby reaches it, just as Rogue reaches for the birdie. "Oh!" she says started. "Well, hello. Where did you come from?"

Bobby's eye grow huge, "Oh, please don't tell Prince John!" he begs. His hat falls over his eyes. He lifts it back up. "Mama says he'll chop off my head."

"Oh, don't be afraid. You've done nothing wrong." Rogue says.

"Oh, Anna, what a bonny wee boy. Is bonny a _real_ word?" Kitty says.

"Yes!" Lightning and Raven yell at the same time. Scott cringes in the corner.

Rogue looks as if she's in deep thought. "Now, who does this young archer remind ya of?"

Kitty looks closely. "Oh, like, upon my word, the notorious Remy Hood." She gasps.

Rogue nods, while Bobby looks proud. "That's right. Only Remy Hood wears a hat like that."

"Yeah," Bobby says, "and look at this keen Remy Hood bow. What kind of word is keen?"

"Back to the script." Raven groans.

He pulls the bow back and Amara sneezes, drawing the ladies attention to the gate. Kitty smiles, "Oh, Anna, don't look around, but I, like, do believe we're, like, surrounded. Oh, mercy!"

"He snitched on us!" Jubilee says in disgust.

"It's alright, children," Rogue says, enjoying being able to boss them around. "Don't be afraid. Please come here."

"Do you think it's safe?" questions Evan.

"That's Maid Anna." Amara says.

"Mama says she's awful nice. Come on!" Jubilee says. They climb through Bobby's ice-induced hole and hurry over to Rogue and Kitty.

Amara goes slower than the others, "Hey you guys, not so fast. Wait for me!"

Jubilee scratches her leg, "I told Bobby he was shooting too high."

Rogue smiles at them, "Ah'm so very glad he did. Now, Ah get ta meet all y'all."

Evan blushes, by remembering the time Pietro caught him in his underwear, and waves at her.

"Gee, you're very beautiful." Amara says, hanging on to Jubilee's much too short skirt.

"Are you gonna marry Remy Hood?" asks Jubilee. Everyone in the studio laughs, except for Raven of course. Rogue blushes horribly and glances at a smirking Remy who is watching off stage.

"Mama said you and Remy Hood are sweethearts." Amara says, grinning evilly at Rogue.

"Well, uh. . ." Rogue says truly dumbfounded. "Ya see, that was several years ago before Ah left for London."

"Did he ever kiss you?" Evan asks, enjoying Rogue's embarrassment.

"Well, uh, no."

"Not for lack of trying t'ough, ey cherie?" Remy grins.

Rogue, Raven and Lightning all glare at him.

"But he carved our initials on this tree." Rogue says walking over to a tree. On the tree, are the initials R.H plus M. A. all surrounded by a heart. The kids all gather around it. "Ah remember it so well." Rogue says wistfully.

"You gonna have any kids?" Bobby asks, grinning at first her, then Raven.

"What kind of question is that!" Rogue shouts.

"Hey, it was in the script." Bobby says, backing away from her. "My mom gots a lot of kids." In the background, several people snicker at Jean.

"Oh, he's probably forgotten all about me. At least Ah_ wish_ he would." The last part, Rogue mutters under her breath.

"Oh, not Remy Hood." Bobby says, pulling out a wooden sword.

"Unfortunately." Rogue mutters.

"I bet he'll storm the castle gates, fight the guards," During this he is banging the sword against Evan's stomach. Evan is restraining the desire to punch him and backing off instead. "rescue ya and drag you off to Sherwood Forest."

"Just a minute there, like, young man." Kitty says in a deep voice, "You've, like, forgotten Prince John."

Bobby waves his hand at her, "That old Prince John don't scare me none."

I'm scared of Prince John. He's cranky." Evan says, though no one listens.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah," says Kitty, pulling out her badmitten racket backwards. "I, Prince John, like, challenge you to, like, a duel. Hey, hey." She comes after Bobby. "Take that! And that! And, like, this!"

"Death to tyrants!" Bobby shouts and comes back at her.

"Och! Och! Och!" Kitty screams, picking up her dress and running away.

"Slice him to pieces," Jubilee shouts.

They run around Rogue who says, "Oh, save me, my hero, save me."

Kitty stick out her leg and Bobby hits it with his wooden sword."Oh, ouch! That's so not fair! Mommy!" she cries and sticks one hand up to her ear and the other in her mouth, pretending to suck on her thumb.

"That's Prince John, all right!" Jubilee says, laughing and pointing at Kitty.

:"Yahoo! Now I got ya!" yells Bobby. He comes at Kitty with his play sword.

She cries out, "Och! Mercy! Mercy! Oh!" She grabs the sword and sticks it under her arm. Then, she pretends to die a very dramatic death. "Oh, he got me! I'm, like, totally dying. Oh!"

"Did I hurt you? Huh?" Bobby asks, a little worried.

Kitty opens her eyes, "No. This is the part where you drag your lady fair off to Sherwood Forest."

He skips over to Rogue and grabs her gloved hand, "Come on, lady fair! Let's go!"

"Oh, Remy, you're so brave and impetuous." Rogue says as she follows Bobby.

"Merci, chere." Remy says laughing off stage.

"Don't get too cocky, Swamp Rat, it was in the script!" Rogue calls. Bobby drags her into a bush. "Oh, so this is Sherwood Forest." She kneels down on her knees.

Bobby looks around. "Yeah, I guess so. Well, now what are we gonna do?" he asks, sitting down and putting his arms around his knees.

"Well, usually the hero gives his lady fair a kiss." Rogue says with an evil glint in her eyes.

"A kiss? Oh that's sissy stuff." Bobby says shaking his head.

"Well if _you_ won't, then _Ah _will." She grabs him and kisses his cheek, making sure the hat is between their skin, for more than just one reason. First of all, her mutation. Secondly, she doesn't want to kiss Bobby on the cheek. Thirdly, she does _not_ want Remy to see her kiss someone else on the cheek either.

"They're kissing!" says Jubilee, pointing and laughing. Evan and Amara laugh too. Bobby wipes the kiss off his cheek with his fist. By this time, Jubilee, Amara, and Evan are rolling around on the ground with laughter.

"And cut!" Raven calls. The kids are still laughing.

"Well, it was better." Lightning says.

"Which play were _you_ watching?" Raven says.

"Hey, we did the best we could with what we had ta work with!" Rogue calls.

"Remy sure ya could have done better if _he_ was acting up there with ya." Remy says, sliding up to her.

Rogue groans. "Lay off it, would ya?" She heads to her dressing room, eager to take off the much hated costume.

"You sure you don't want Remy to help you take it off?" he grins.

This earns him a slap and a slammed door in his face. Though, behind the slammed door, Rogue giggles and blushes.

Raven almost laughs at this and Lightning looks at her in shock. "Something funny?"

"Nothing at all." She says, trying not to smile.

Piotr has come up to Kitty and placed his arm around her. "You did very well, pretty Kitty."

"Hey! That's my line!" Lance calls, absolutely outraged.

"Shut up, Lance!" Kitty says, "Thank you, my dear Piotr." she says dreamily. They walk off into a beautiful sunset, before returning when they remember Kitty forgot to change into normal clothes.

"Okay. . ." Raven and Lightning both say as they turn to leave.

"No more synchronized sentences . . . no more synchronized sentences. . . no more synchronized sentences" Scott is heard muttering behind a table where he is rocking himself. Even Jean is starting to get a little scared of his phobia.

And we will leave him there.

Kurt: Hey! I vasn't even in this chapter at all!

Well, now you are.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this took so long. I've had a bit of a crisis with my son. But everything's okay now. The major change that this caused was bringing my husband back from Texas where he's been working for several months. This is wonderful for me, but I'll have a lot less time to write. So, I'll keep up writing this, cause it's fun, but expect less frequent updates.

Next time, Rogue and Remy declare their undying love, just not to each other. . .


	6. Scene 5: Undying Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. Kurt has another speaking part this chapter. :)

To Cat2Fat900: Thank you very much and chapter 3 awaits us. . .ugh. . . lol. SFWD!

To Nightshade-89: Thank you. No, you aren't. Good luck at the Dog Show.

To Tigerlilly1234: Aren't they fun. :) Thank you.

To Lyrit Liltrick: Yes, I found a place for him. Precisely my take on it. Eww.

To Invisible Stranger: Thank you. I'm not sure about it, but I've never seen Ella Enchanted.

To Crash Slayer, el diablo, Chica De Los Ojos Cafe, and Sugah Devil: Thank you very much.

* * *

Remy Hood

Scene 5: Undying Love

Raven and Lightning walk right in during a rather big fight.

"Ah swear Swamp Rat, the only reason Ah ain't draining ya dry is Ah don't want your filthy Cajun thoughts in my head!" Rogue says, slapping him hard and stomping off to her dressing room. Kitty follow her in.

"Can't you take a compliment like a lady, cherie?" Remy says, holding his face and walking towards her dressing room. He is met with a slammed door and a friendly Russian shaking his head.

"You have got it bad, comrade." Piotr says to him.

"No worse t'an you over a certain Valley Girl who shall remain nameless." He glares at the locked door as if he could burn holes through it with his eyes. During this, Raven and Lightning have both found bags of popcorn and are watching intently. "Is it really t'at obvious, mon amie?"

Piotr nods. "Uh huh, I have seen you flirt vith other women, but you never let them treat you like this."

Remy shrugs, "Remy just t'ink Rogue be worth in t'e end."

Meanwhile, inside the dressing room, Rogue is ranting to Kitty, "Why does he have ta be _so _. . . so f_reaking cute_! Ah mean _here Ah am _trying ta spare his feelings, what with my powers and all, and he _just won't give up_!"

"I don't know, Rogue, why not, like, give him a chance?" Kitty says. "He _is_ awfully romantic."

"Whateveh! Ah can't give him a chance, because, because. . . well you_ know_ why!" Rogue sighs.

"Yeah, well Piotr told me, he's never, like, acted this way before."

"Probably cause Ah'm just some new challenge. . ."

"How can you, like, say that! With Raven right outside this door!" Kitty says, pointing at said door.

Rogue sighs, "Ah'm scared too. . . Ah'm afraid of falling in love. . . and neveh being able ta touch him. . ."

Kitty giggles. "Well, obviously there are, like,_ some_ ways around your powers. . . Remember, like, in Raven's dimension, she's, like, not an only child either."

Back to Raven and Lightning, who have finished their popcorn. "Well that was sweet and romantic." Lightning declares. Raven had been projecting Rogue and Kitty's conversation into his head.

"Yes, but let's get to work. Places people! Rogue and Gambit can settle their little lover's quarrel after the scene!" Raven calls.

"It's not a lover's quarrel if we ain't a couple!" Rogue yells.

"Yeah, right." says the entire cast, minus Scott, Gambit, and Rogue of course. Scott screams and curls up into a fetal position.

"Okay. . ." drones Raven. "Lights! Camera! Action!"

Rogue is seen looking out of the window of a tall rose-vine-covered tower. She hums and dances around the room, which happens to be a bedroom. Kitty sits in a rocking chair, knitting and watching her, "Ah me. Like, young love." She sighs and gives Piotr a meaningful glance. "Oh, it's, like totally, a grand thing."

Rogue stops twirling long enough to open a wardrobe with a wanted poster of Remy Hood tacked on the inside. "Oh, Kitty, surely he must know how much Ah still love him."

Kitty stops knitting, "But of course, my dear. Like, believe me, someday soon, like, your uncle, King Charles, will have an outlaw for, like, an in-law." She giggles.

Rogue does too, but she refuses to glance in Remy's direction. She can feel his eyes on her. "Oh, Kitty, but when? When?"

"As soon as you stop slamming doors in Remy's face." Remy says pointedly.

"Shut up, Swamp Rat! Ah'm trying ta act!" Rogue says furious.

"Was it really acting, t'ough, mon amoure?" he says with a wicked gleam in his Cajun eyes.

"Okay, that's enough!" Raven yells. "Back to the play!"

Kitty holds up what was supposed to be a blanket, but looks more like a pot holder that's been tossed in the washer before it was sealed. "Oh, patience, my dear. Patience." She sticks her tongue out at the blanket. "I hate knitting," she pouts.

"Kitty!" Lightning warns.

"Remember absence, like, makes the heart grow fonder." Kitty says, wagging her finger at Rogue.

Rogue holds her hands together and looks down sadly, "or forgetful." She sighs and walks back towards the window. "Oh, Ah've been away so long. What if he's forgotten all about me? Ah can only wish . . ." Rogue says the last part under her breath.

The scene then changes to Remy absently stirring a pot and dreaming of his true love. . . Normally, Remy is a good cook, so Raven had Kitty help make the stew before the scene began. Piotr is in the background hanging clothes and trying to have a conversation with the humming Cajun. "Hey, lover boy. How is that grub coming? I do not understand this word grub. . ."

"It just means food, that's all." Evan pipes up.

Raven and Lightning glare at him fiercely.

"Man, I am starved." Piotr continues. Remy ignores him and keeps humming, "Rem? Remy? Remy?" He face grows slightly angry. "Hey!"

Remy falls out of his fake, or was it not so fake, trance. "Hmm? What? What do you say?"

"Aw, forget it." Piotr says, waving him off. "Your mind is not on food."

"Mine is!" Fred says.

"Your mind is always on food, yo." Toad quips.

"Goodone." Pietro says.

"That's enough, boys." Raven says fiercely. The boys shudder and quiet down.

"You are thinking about somebody vith long eyelashes and you are smelling that sveet perfume." Meanwhile the pot is bowling over, as Remy has stopped stirring it and is daydreaming of Rogue instead. Piotr sniffs the air to make a point, but what he smells isn't perfume, but smoke. He coughs.

"Hey whoa!" Remy says, jumping up and waving his arms around, uselessly. "It's boiling over!"

"You are burning the chow!" Piotr says, using his metal form to remove the pot from the fire and set it on a rock. "I am assuming this chow is another food reference?"

"That's right, mate." John says, staring at the campfire from his place offstage. "Mmm, fire. . ."

Wanda comes up behind him, "Boo." John screams.

"Thank you Wanda." Lightning calls.

Piotr takes a yellow shirt and starts waving the smoke away, right into Jean's face. She promptly starts coughing.

Remy tries to pat the ashes out of his shirt. "Sorry, Piotr, guess Remy was t'inking about Maid Anna again. Remy can't help it." He shrugs and gazes upon the offstage Rogue who blushes despite herself. "Remy loves her, Piotr," he says, still staring at Rogue.

"Look," Piotr says, adding water to the stew. "Why don't you stop mooning and moping around? Mooning and moping? Just. . . just marry the girl." He throws the shirt at Remy.

Remy removes the shirt from his head. "Remy'd love to," he says wagging his eyebrows at Rogue.

She takes on the air of a very offended person. "Not in_ this_ lifetime!" she lies.

"Gambit! There's this little thing called a script!" Raven says, her yellow eyes glowing dangerously.

Remy winks at Raven, but goes back to the script. "Marry her? You don't just walk up to a girl, hand her a bouquet and say, 'Hey, remember me? We were kids together. Will you marry me?' No." he chuckles. "It just isn't down that way." He looks crestfallen.

Piotr is now stirring the stew which is once again on the fire. "Aww, come on, Remy. Climb the castle walls." He shakes some not so tasty looking stew from the spoon. "Sveep her off her feet. Carry her off in style."

Remy sighs, "It's not use, Piotr. Remy's t'ought it all out, and. . ."

"And a girl doesn't like ta get kidnapped, that's what!" Rogue mutters.

"Hey, you said you forgave Remy for t'at!" Remy calls.

"Maybe Ah lied!"

"Would you two shut up!" Raven and Lightning say at the same time. Scott is heard screaming again.

"It just wouldn't work." Remy says, sighing again. "Besides what does Remy have to offer her?"

Piotr sniffs the stew. "Vell, for one thing, you cannot cook."

"Remy's serious, Piotr." Remy bends over the laundry basket and starts hanging clothes himself. Kurt is seen coming up the lane in his monk costume. "She's a highborn lady of quality."

"So, she has got class? So, what?" Piotr is pouring massive amounts of pepper on the stew in his effort to fix it.

Neither Remy nor Piotr have noticed Kurt who is standing directly behind Remy. "Remy's an outlaw, t'at's what. T'at's no life for a lovely lady. Always on t'e run. What kind of a future is t'at?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, son." Kurt says, startling Remy so bad he falls into the laundry basket. Clothes fly up all over him and the ground. A camera flashes as Pietro takes yet another picture for use in future blackmail. "You're no outlaw. Vhy, someday, you'll be called a great hero." Kurt says while wagging his finger at him reproachfully.

Remy removes various clothing articles of of his head and shoulders. "A hero? Do you hear t'at, Piotr? We've just been pardoned."

Piotr is still stirring the stew, "That is a gas. Gas? Okay. . . We have not even been arrested yet."

Kurt walks over to Piotr and wags his finger in_ his_ face. "All right. Laugh, you two rogues." He reaches for the spoon. "But zere's gonna be a big to-do in Nottingham." He sips the stew and then spits it out, coughing. "Well done, ain't it? Old Prince John's having a champion archery tournament tomorrow."

"Archery tournament? Ha!" Piotr says, removing an apron he had somehow managed to put on while trying to fix the horrible stew. "Old Rem could vin that standing on his head, huh, Rem?"

"T'ank you, Little Piotr," he says, taking a bow, "but Remy's sure we're not invited."

"No," Kurt points out, "but zere's somebody who'll be very disappointed if you don't come."

"Yeah," Piotr says laughing, "Old bushel britches, the Honorable Sheriff Sabretooth."

"Now there's an insult I hadn't thought of. . ." Tabby says. She receives a rather fear-inducing glare from both directors.

"No, Maid Anna." Kurt says lightly.

"Maid Anna?" Remy asks.

"Yeah, she," Kurt laughs, "she's gonna give a kiss to ze vinner."

"Kiss to t'e winner!" Remy exclaims and dreams of kissing Rogue again. "Oo-de-lally! Come on, Piotr! What are we waiting for?" He starts jumping, skipping and doing cartwheels around the camp. This makes Rogue laugh very hard, not to mention everyone else, except of course for Raven.

"Vait a minute, Rem. Hold it. That place will be crawling vith soldiers." Piotr points out.

"Aha!" says the lovesick Cajun thief, "But, remember. Faint hearts never won fair lady. Fear not, my friends." He grabs his bow and quiver, strings and arrow, shoots it, then throws his hat into the air. The arrow hits a frying pan, ricochets off it and hits the hat, which lands neatly on Remy's head. "This will be Remy's greatest performance."

"And cut!" Lightning calls, holding an icepack to Raven's head.

"Ugh, could that have gone worse?" she groans.

"Well, it would have went fine if your parents hadn't been fighting." he says.

"Or if someone had ever given Piotr a dictionary." she says.

"Hey, like, don't talk about Piotr like that!" Kitty defends him. "Just because his English isn't perfect!"

"NeitherisKurt's." Pietro smiles.

"Don't you even start with my brother!" Rogue says, raising a fist.

Evan grabs her covered arm. "Allow me," he says, shooting flaming spikes at Pietro, who easily dodges them. However one of the sets the stage on fire.

John starts dancing around the flames gleefully. Wanda watches this with great amusement until Todd asks, "Uh, shouldn't somebody put that out?"

"I'll do it," Storm grumbles, making a rain cloud. Soon, everyone is soaked and covered in soggy ashes.

Rogue is especially angry because she was already mad. "Remy Lebeau! This is all your fault!" She then steps into her dressing room and locks the door.

"What did Remy do?" he sighs and starts banging on her door. "Chere? Chere?"

"I think we should go while the getting's good." Lightning whispers to Raven.

"Let's." she nods and they take off. We shall too.

* * *

A/N: Again sorry about the wait, but here it is. :) Next up: The big archery tournament . . . I'll try to fit the whole thing into one scene with the fight at the end and everything. Scott gets drunk, lol. . . Sabretooth gets shown up. . . A whole bunch of fun. Please remember to review. . . 


	7. Scene 6: The Archery Tournament

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews: 

To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. I plan on it, but I haven't decided which one. It's a toss up right now between Snow White and The Princess Bride. Oh, I've put in a special treat for you this chapter. Hope you like it.

To Cat2Fat900: Thank you. I wonder if there is a technical word for the fear of synchronized sentences. . . Australian Flying Squirrels, Evil Flame Throwing Squirrels and Squipmonks too. My head is spinning. The office of my apartments have a pet squirrel named Rocky who lives in the tree right outside and he comes in and steals peanuts. :) He's so cute. . . but he bites. I'll start editing Sweety's version of chapter 3 today, maybe.

To Nightshade-89: Thank you. Congrats on getting 2nd place. I'm sure that it's okay. I mean, I named my _daughter _after my favorite character on a canceled Canadian sitcom that I never got a chance to watch until several years after it was canceled. . . Don't ask, it's a very, very, _very_ long story involving neighbors, books, television and a bunch of guys from a Navajo Reservation. Man, I miss those guys, even if I never did get to met them . . .Like I said, don't ask. Hmm, I thought about Rogue, but I can't actually imagine myself calling my daughter Rogue. Even if it _is_ a pretty name.

To Tigerlilly1234: Okay, now I think I need to go throw up. . . Torturing Scott makes up for it though. In my other story, I'm really torturing Scott right now. One girlfriend just dumped him and Jean won't even start dating him. Lol. . .

To Crash Slayer: Well, no, just when Remy gets too fresh. And Raven and Lightning _do_ enjoy the fights. They especially enjoy arguing with each other, that's why they do it all the time. No, he wasn't insulting Kitty. He was insulting Piotr. So did the entire cast. Lol. Poor Scott. . . yeah, right. Once again, Mind out of gutter. Lol. (That _was _funny though.). I figure a Russian isn't liable to know that much American slang. It you pay attention, it wasn't Piotr's shirt he threw at him. He was doing laundry. He needed the apron to fix the stew Kit- I mean Remy screwed up. I'm sure you would make a great tutor.

To el diablo: Thank you very much. Nope, never seen it.

To Shira's Song: Thank you. I find synchronized sentences a lot of fun indeed. It's fun to make Scott cry. I'm so glad you think I'm doing this version so well. :) Oh, yeah, the stork costume, hmm maybe just a mysterious stranger costume or a, um, a . . . Oh, I'll think of something.

To Lyrit Liltrick, and Chica De Los Ojos Cafe: Thank you very much.

A/N: All you reviewers make me feel so special. :) Happy 4th of July to all you Americans out there! Okay settle in, this is gonna be a long run . . . it took me three days to write this and I won't be able to update again until after the holiday. My kids are going to their very first parade and we're going to watch fireworks. It's going to be fun. :)

* * *

Remy Hood 

Scene 6: The Archery Contest

Lightning walks into the studio, which is amazingly calm. With him is a young girl with long, straight brown hair and green eyes. She seems to be about fourteen.

Remy and Rogue have called a truce and look around strangely. "Uh, Where's Raven?"

Lightning and the girl look at each other nervously, "Uh, Raven is. . ." Lightning starts.

"Busy, that's it, busy," the girl says quickly. "So, I'll be taking her place for this scene. My name is Rachel Lebeau and I have the same powers as my big sister. Not to mention more fashion sense." Rachel smiles warmly.

"Would you shut up, Rachel. You're only here to work the equipment anyway." Lightning glares at her.

"You are _such_ a pain." she replies.

"What are big brothers for?" he says sweetly.

"You are _not _my brother."

"Not yet, anyway." he smiles annoyingly at her again.

"Okay, let me get this straight. This is Raven's little sisteh?" Rogue asks. Rachel and Lightning nod.

"So, t'at means she's another of our children?" Remy asks. Rachel and Lightning nod again.

"Ah think Ah'm gonna die." Rogue groans.

"Oh, don't do that, Mama!" Rachel says in shocked tones.

"Can't you tell when someone's being sarcastic?" Tabby asks.

"Apparently not." Scott quips.

"Hey, I'm only fourteen, you know!" Rachel says angrily. No one there seems to care. "Oh, let's just get to work." No one moves. "Why aren't you listening to me?" She stomps her foot.

"Well, you aren't exactly a very intimidating figure, petite." Remy says warmly.

Rachel just sighs and mutters under her breath, "I just _had_ to be the normal looking one, didn't I?"

"Okay, people, places!" Lightning calls and everyone goes to work. "See, you don't have to look like a mutant to be intimidating." he tells her.

"Sorry to break this to you man, but, uh, we aren't scared of you either." Evan says, "Just your girlfriend."

Lightning groans, "Lights!" Rachel starts the lights, but they are rather shaky. "Camera!" She tries to use her powers on the camera, but ends up just using her hands instead. "Action!"

Tabby stands alone in a high tower wearing a pink page outfit and blowing her horn. On the ground a parade of Jamie clones, Fred, Pietro, Hank, Mastermind and X23 with Angel at the lead, carrying a rather huge cardboard ax. There are tents set up and balloons and confetti decorating the entire area. This is topped off with a big sign that reads, "Archery Tournament." Several members of the cast and even more Jaime clones are watching the parade.

And the end of the parade marches Bobby, proudly brandishing his bow and wearing Remy's hat. He is followed by Evan, Jubilee, and Amara. The girls are skipping.

The camera zooms in on the royal box, were Pyro is watching the parade with enthusiasm. Scott is sitting in a chair on the right of the throne. Pyro laughs, "Scott, this is a red-letter day. A coup d'etat (1), to coin a Norman phrase." He sits on the throne which is incredibly huge and painted red like fire. His feet don't reach the ground.

"Oh, yes, indeed, sire." says Scott without enthusiasm. "Your plan to capture Remy Hood in public is sheer genius." Scott is sitting up very straight. Pyro is slouching. So, Scott's head is higher than Pyro's. Pyro is glaring at him while he laughs.

"Scott," Pyro says angrily, "no one sits higher than the king. Must I remind you, Scott?" He grabs Scott's neck and clicks his tongue at his disapprovingly. He lowers Scott down forcibly until Scott is barely sitting up at all.

"Oh, oh, forgive me sire," Scott says while hovering as low in the chair as he can. "I, I didn't mean to. . ."

But Pyro, who is now sitting up, has gone back to his original topic and is rubbing his hands together eagerly. He cuts Scott off, "My trap is baited and set and then revenge!" He laughs insanely. "Ah, Revenge!"

"Shh! Not so loud, sire." Scott says shushing the self-proclaimed king. "Remember, only you and I know, and your secret is my secret." He says, leaning into Pyro's ear.

"Stop!" Pyro says, "Stop tickling my ear!" He rubs his ear and then suddenly stops, "Secret? What secret?"

"Why the capture of Remy Hood, sire." Scott says lightly.

"That insolent blackguard." Pyro groans, sinking low again. "Ooh!" He shakes his fists at nothing. "I'll show him who wears the crown!" He bangs a fist on the arm of the throne and this causes him to jump and the crown pops up and lands catty-cornered on his head. He fixes it.

"I share your loathing, sire." Scott says. "That scurrilous scoundrel who fooled you with that silly disguise. Um, scurrilous?"

Everyone looks at Rachel, "Uh, don't look at me. . . I'm not the one with the photographic memory."

Hanks speaks up, "I think I can handle this. Scurrilous, adjective, 1. abusive or defamatory: containing abusive language or defamatory allegations, 2. foul-mouthed or vulgar: using or containing coarse, vulgar, or obscene language, and 3. wicked: behaving in ways thought to be evil or immoral. It is a late sixteenth century word formed from scurrile, directly or via French from Latin scurrilis, from scurra 'buffoon.'"

"Okay, and thank you for today's English lesson." Lightning groans.

"I thought he was a chemistry teacher," Rachel says bewildered.

"He is. . . Can we just get back to work?" Lightning says.

"I miss Raven . . ." Kitty groans.

"Yeah," Scott says, "who dared to rob you and made you look so utterly ridiculous," he continues with the script, enjoying this particular line.

"Enough!" Pyro yells, making a fist and swinging at Scott. Scott dodges which makes Pyro angry. "Scott, you deliberately dodged." He wags his finger at Scott.

Scott looks frightened and cowers, "B, but sire, please."

"Stop sniveling and hold still!" Pyro says calmly.

Scott stops cowering and lets Pyro pound his fist onto Scott's head extremely hard. Scott wavers slightly before remembering his line, "Thank you, sire."

The scene changes to Rogue and Kitty walking towards the royal box. "Oh, Kitty, Ah'm so excited." Rogue hugs Kitty tightly. "But how will Ah recognize him?" She looks around.

Kitty laughs, "Och, he'll, like, let you know somehow. That young rogue of yours is, like, full of surprises, my dear."

Behind the girls in a bush, Remy is listening. He is wearing a gray tunic with a symbol of a stork on it and a rather large, floppy hat. "T'ere she is, Little Piotr. Isn't she beautiful?" Remy sighs dreamily while he watches Rogue enter the royal box. He steps out of the bush, forgetting himself, and revealing the fact that he's wearing one foot high stilts, as if he wasn't tall enough, and long pants to cover them.

Piotr is wearing the outfit of a noble, only it's way to small. It might fit Scott, but not Piotr. He is also wearing a blond wig and fake mustache to match. He grabs Remy and pulls him back into the bush. "Cool it, lover boy. Your heart is running away vith your head." He places a pair of dark sunglasses on Remy to hide his crimson eyes.

"Oh, stop worrying." Remy replies. "T'is disguise would fool Remy's own mot'er."

Piotr laughs, "Da, but your mom is not here, comrade. You got to fool old bushel britches."

He points and, speak of the devil, who should walk by but Sabretooth himself. Remy elbows Piotr lightly twice and heads out in his disguise.

"Sheriff? Your Honor?" Remy says, running up to Sabretooth and grabbing his hand and shaking it violently.

"Yeah?" Sabretooth growls.

"Meeting you face-to-face is a real treat. A real treat." He continues shaking Sabretooth's hand.

"Well, now." Sabretooth pulls his hand away. "Thank you." He chuckles against his will, he remembers the electric shock device in his uniform. "Oh, excuse me. I gotta go win this tournament."

"Hey, old Rem is not a bad actor." Piotr says, shining a monocle against his sleeve. "But vait until he sees this scene I lay on Prince John. I thought I vas supposed to sit on Scott? Vhy am I laying on John?"

Lightning groans and Rachel burst out laughing.

"It's, like, just a phrase, honey." Kitty calls from the box.

"Oh, okay." He walks up to the box carrying a fancy cane. The girls leave the box to go watch the parade. "Ah! My Lord!" Piotr exclaims. "My esteemed royal sovereign of the realm." He walks up the stairs. "The head man himself," he says, taking a bow. "You are _beautiful_."

Pyro looks highly flattered. "He has style, eh, Scott? Du savoir-faire, n'est pas, Scott?"(2) At the sound of an Australian speaking French, Rachel and several other members of the cast burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. "Oh, come on, me French ain't that bad, mates!"

"Yeah, right." Rachel and Tabby say at the same time.

"No!" Scott yells, "Not you two, too! Oh the horror! The horror!"

"Okay, let's all calm down and get back to work," Lightning says, between laughs himself.

"You took the vords right out of my mouth, PJ." Piotr says after several minutes of more laughter.

"PJ!" Pyro exclaims. "I like that! Do you know I do? Scott, put it on my luggage. PJ." He laughs and Scott scowls. "PJ, yes."

Scott gets into Piotr's face, "Hmph, and you?" He sits back down. "Who might you be, sir?" He sticks his tongue out at Piotr.

"I am Sir Reginald, duke of Chutney," Piotr says, raising the monocle and then replacing it. "And do not stick your tongue out at me, kid." He removes Scott's hat and shoves it in Scott's mouth. "And now, your highness, allow me to lay some protocol on you." He bows slightly and takes Pyro's hand.

He reaches to kiss it, but Pyro pulls it back quickly. "Oh, no! Uh, forgive me, but I lose more jewels that way than. . . Oi, did I just really say that?"

"Stick to the script!" Lightning yells.

"Please sit down." He motions to Scott's occupied seat.

"Thanks PJ," says Piotr, sitting on Scott. "Could not get a better seat than this, could you? The royal box! Oh, Hey!" Scott starts squirming underneath him. "Hey, vait a minute! Vhat's. . ." He pulls Scott out from underneath him. "Oh, excuse me, buster."

"Buster?" Scott says breathlessly. "You, sir, have taken my seat!"

Pyro and Piotr start laughing and Scott cringes slightly. Pyro waves his hand at Scott in an offhanded way, "Scott, with you around, who needs a court jester?" They laugh again and Scott looks sad. Pyro pulls out a small mirror. He admires himself in it. "Now get out there and keep your _one eye_ open for _you know who_."

"You, you mean I, I'm being dismissed?" Scott questions while still being held up by Piotr.

"You heard His Mightiness, move it, creepy. Get lost. Begone, short one," Piotr then drops Scott hard onto the wooden floor of the royal box.

Scott slinks away untrustingly. "What cheek! 'Creepy'? 'Buster'? 'Short one'? Who does that dopey duke think he is?" he mutters as he passes Kurt and Logan in his chicken suit.

"Now he's up to something, Friar," Logan growls.

"Yeah, come on!" Kurt says. They follow him.

The scene changes back to Tabby blowing her horn. A parade of archers walks in front of the royal box.

Kurt and Logan are looking under tents for Scott. Kurt looks up and points at something and Logan follows where he's looking. Ray is standing on a crutch, holding a bunch of balloons. Around him, Evan, Bobby, Jubilee, and Amara are waiting. Ray hands a balloon to Evan, but Kurt is pointing to the balloons. Scott takes off with them and floats up in the air. He takes an electric fan in his other hand and uses it to steer. Kurt and Logan chase him on foot.

Rogue and Kitty walk back up into the royal box and curtsy to Pyro slightly. Rogue is growling under her breath about it. They sit down as the parade continues as first Roberto then Magneto, Forge, Wanda, Mystique, Storm, Sabretooth and Remy walk by. Each of them carry bows. Scott is watching them from the air.

Kitty leans over and whispers into Rogue's ear. Rogue smiles. Remy notices this and heads over there. "Ah, Your Ladyship." he says, "Begging your pardon, cherie, but it's a great honor to be shooting for the favor of a lovely lady like yourself." He pulls a white daisy out of his pocket and hands it to Rogue. "Monsieur Stork hopes he wins the kiss." He lowers his glasses for a brief instant and winks at her.

Rogue takes the flower, "Oh," she almost gets lost, gazing on him. She blushes and hides her face behind the daisy, which being small, doesn't cover her face at all. "Thank ya, my thin-legged archer." She chuckles. "Ah wish ya luck," she says and leans close to him, "with all my heart."

Scott notices this and gets suspicious of him. "I wonder." he says and goes flying away, just missing Kurt's hand as he was trying to grab him.

Angel walks up, carrying a pillow with a golden arrow on it. "Your Highness, with your royal permission, we are ready to begin." He hands the pillow to Pyro.

"Proceed, Captain." orders Pyro.

"The tournament of the golden arrow will now begin." Angel announces.

The crowd cheers and Tabby blows her horn again. Scott gets caught in the wind generated by Tabby's horn and blows off course. All the archers let their first arrows fly. Those in the royal box watch with pleasure as do all the peasants who are watching by the fences. More arrows fly and more cheers are heard. Storm shoots an arrow and it manages to hit the target.

"Yea, Auntie O'!" Evan calls out, waving a small purple flag.

Sabretooth fires an arrow and it hits the red, which is the second ring on the target. The crowd boos him Remy then shoots an arrow which is made of two sticks tied together. In real life the arrow would never fly, but Rachel steadies it with her telekinesis. It flies unsteadily through the air and hits the bullseye. And the back half breaks off. Then, the lights go out.

"Rachel!" Lightning shouts, "The lights!"

"Oh, yeah, oops. . ." The lights go back on.

Scott's eyes grow wide. Rogue claps her hands.

"A perfect bullseye," Pyro says. "Well, well."

Piotr laughs, "Da, that is vhat you call pulling it back and letting it go, PJ."

Back at the tournament, Remy is bragging of course, "Monsieur Stork is gonna win t'at golden arrow, and t'en he's gonna present himself to t'e lovely Maid Anna, and. . ."

All this time, Sabretooth is trying to get off a shot. "Listen, scissorbill, if you shoot half as good as you blabbermouth, you're better than Remy Hood."

"Remy Hood, he says! Wowee! Does Remy really have to talk like this?"

Lightning is about to say something rude when Rachel stands up and walks over to him. She puts on her best puppy dog eyes, her big, emerald eyes, just like Rogue's. "Please, Papa. Please say them, for me." She bats her eyes. "You wouldn't want to ruin my play, would you?" She pouts and tears form in her eyes.

Remy sighs. "How is Remy supposed to say no to t'at? Her eyes are just like yours, chere."

"Ah think Ah just learned a new trick." Rogue says, crossing her arms, with a smirk on her face.

"Remy's in trouble." he moans.

Rachel goes and sits down. Lightning shakes his head at her, "Raven should never have taught you that."

"Yeah, she's says that a lot. Can we please start the play again?"

Remy sighs and pats Sabretooth on the back, "Monsieur Stork is tiptop, all right, but he's not as good as _he_ is." He shoots another arrow and it lands next to the first one.

Sabretooth does a double take and Scott looks shocked. Piotr slaps his leg and says, laughing, "That kid has got class, does he not, PJ?"

"Indeed he has, Reggie." Pyro says. He claps his hands, "Bravo! Uh, bravo! Yes."

Remy pulls another arrow out of his quiver, "Oh, um, by t'e way, Monsieur Stork hears you're having a bit of trouble, getting your hands on t'at Remy Hood."

Sabretooth, who was about to shoot another arrow, lowers his bow. "He's scared of me, that's what he is. You notice he didn't show up here today. Huh! I can spot him through those phony disguises."

Meanwhile, Scott has been sneaking up on them, using his balloons and fan technique. He catches a random view of Remy's eyes and backs up in surprise, "It's him! It's Remy Hood!" He laughs, "I just can't wait till I tell His Majesty." He flies off giggling like a school girl.

Meanwhile, he's been spotted by Kurt and Logan. They've made a make-shift bow out of Logan's lute and fire an arrow at the balloons. It sails through several off them. Scott starts falling. Kurt ports over to him and catches him, then shoves him into an open barrel marked "Ale."

"Unhand me, you. . ." Scott cries.

Kurt closes the lid, leaving just enough of a crack to breath through.

"Please, please. I don't drink!" Scott whines. Normally, they would have used water had Raven been there, but Raven wasn't there so Logan had snuck in real ale. Scott doesn't know this, so he takes a drink. He suddenly feels very good. He takes another, which leads to another, and another.

The scene changes to Angel taking out some arrows from a target. "Attention, everyone! The final contestants are the Honorable Sheriff Sabretooth. . ." Angel spits out the word honorable like bad meat and the crowd boos as Sabretooth jumps out in front of the line of contestants. "And Monsieur Stork from Devonshire." Remy turns around and waves at the crowd who cheer for him. Then he turns and waves at Rogue.

She blushes, despite herself, and waves back. Pyro leans over, "My dear, I suspect you favor the gangly youth, hmm?"

"Uh, why, yes, sire." Rogue says, blushing even more, "Well, at least he amuses me."

Pyro laughs evilly. "Coincidently, my dear young lady, he amuses me too." He taps his fingers together while laughing.

"For the final shoot-out," Angel calls, "move the target back thirty paces."

"You heard it, Toady," Sabretooth growls as Toad was standing nearest the target. "Move it, you birdbrain!" Todd walks into the target. "And remember what you're supposed to do."

"Yes, sir, Sheriff, sir." Todd says as he backs up the required distance.

Sabretooth fires an arrow that flies off a lot higher than the target. Todd jumps up and catches the arrow, right in the bullseye. The crowd boos and Rogue shakes her fists in frustration. Sabretooth chuckles, "Well, that shot wins the golden arrow, the kiss and the whole caboodle."

Remy walks up to the line and shoots his arrow, but Sabretooth hits the bottom of the bow just as Remy releases the arrow and it flies off way too high. The crowd gasps. Remy immediately takes another arrow and shoots the first one, knocking it back on course and directly through Sabretooth's arrow, splitting it it two.

The crowd cheers. Kurt shouts, "Yea! He did it, he did it, he did it!"

Rogue hugs Kitty again. Pyro motions to Angel who nods. He looks around evilly and whispers to Fred.

Remy walks boldly straight to Rogue, who is watching every move he makes and holding the flower. Behind him, Fred, Pietro, Hank, Mastermind, and X23 march with axes in hand. Pyro taps his fingers on the throne in anticipation. He stands up as Remy reaches the royal box. Kitty somehow disappears and Rogue is holding the pillow on which lies the golden arrow. "Archer, I commend you, and because of your superior skill, you shall get what is coming to you."

Rogue is staring at Remy. He's staring at Rogue. She stands up and walks forward, noting the dorky smile on his face that only appears when a man is in love. He leans forward on the railing of the box. "Our royal congratulations," Pyro says, breaking the mood and holding out his hand.

Remy takes it and shakes it vigorously. "Oh, thank you kindly, Your Highness. Meeting you face-to-face, Your High and Mighty, is a real treat."

Pyro is trying to get his hand away. He finally succeeds. "Release the royal fingers. Ah!" He says, fixing his crown. He takes a sword and acts like he's about to knight Remy. "And now, I name you the winner, or more appropriately, the loser!" He take the sword and cuts the gray tunic to reveal Remy's usual outfit underneath. Also in the process, he knocks off Remy's sunglasses, revealing his red-on-black eyes. Kitty, having returned in the meantime, and Rogue both gasp. So do Jean, Bobby, Jubilee, and Amara. "Seize him!" Pyro orders the guards. They fight with him for a while, but manage to tie him up and hold their cardboard axes pointing towards his neck. "I sentence you to sudden, instant and even immediate death!"

Rogue gasps, "Oh no! Oh!" She cries. The thought crosses her mind of Remy really being killed and her face goes paler than it already is. "Please," she begs Pyro, "Please, sire, Ah beg av ya ta spare his life."

"Can't stand t'e t'ought of living wit'out Remy, eh, chere."

"Do you eveh shut up?" she says glaring.

"Both of you shut up and stick to the script!" Lightning yells, throwing his clipboard up in the air. Rachel laughs at him and he simply glares at her.

Rogue rolls her eyes, but gets back into her begging mode. She gets down on her knees in front of the red throne and says, "Please have mercy." A single tear falls down her cheek. This was due to having to beg Pyro for anything. That would make anyone cry.

"My dear emotional lady, why should I?" Pyro says, enjoying seeing the normally feisty girl, crying and begging.

"Because Ah . . . Do Ah really have ta say this?" Rogue groans.

"If you don't I'll cry." Rachel says with just the right amount of sadness in her voice. "After all, your my Mama and you should love my Papa and if you don't then I'll, I'll," she sniffs.

"Fine! Ah'll say it, but you just keep your mouth shut, Remy Lebeau!" Rogue shouts. She goes back to crying, "Because Ah love him, Your Highness." She turns her head while she says this to look Remy in the eyes. Remy decides it might be best to let this one go without a wise crack.

"Love him?" Pyro says, shocked. He brings his hand up to him mouth. "And does this prisoner return your love?"

A tear flows down Rogue's face as Remy gazes deeply into her eyes. "Rogue, I mean Anna, ma cherie, Remy loves you more t'an life itself." The sound of Piotr and Pyro snickering can be heard in the back ground.

Rogue looks so happy, several members of the cast wonder if she acting or not. Kitty places a supportive hand on Rogue's shoulder.

Pyro chuckles, "Ah, young love. Your pleas have not fallen on a heart of stone." He makes a movement as if he is making a grand gesture, then suddenly stick his fist into the air as he says, "But traitors to the crown must die!"

"Traitor to t'e crown?" exclaims Remy. "T'at crown belongs to King Charles! Long live King Charles!"

"Long live King Charles!" the crowd shouts.

"Enough!" Pyro shouts, throwing a tantrum up on his throne, "I am king! King! King! Ah! Off with his head!"

X23 starts walking towards him with her cardboard ax muttering under her breath, "this would be a lot more realistic if they let me use my claws."

Jean, Bobby, Jubilee, and Amara all gasp again. So does Kurt, Ray, and several other members of the crowd. Rogue sniffs and cries out, "Oh no!" She buries her head in Kitty's dress and laughs, pretending to cry.

Suddenly Pyro cries out, "Stop! Executioner, stop! Hold your ax!" His collar is being held behind him through a blue curtain.

On the other side of the curtain is Piotr, holding the collar in one hand and a dagger in the other. "Okay, big shot. Now, tell them to untie my comrade, or I vill..." He digs the daggers tighter against Pyro's back.

Pyro grunts. "Sheriff, release my comrade, I mean, release the prisoner!"

Sabretooth is holding one of the ropes. "Untie the prisoner?" he growls.

"You, like totally, heard what he said, bushel britches!" Kitty says, sitting on the railing of the box.

"Sheriff," Pyro practically squeals, "I make the rules, and since I'm the head man." He tries to stand on the throne and is pulled back my Piotr's tug on his collar. "Not so hard, you mean thing," he whispers. Piotr responds by pushing the dagger even tighter into Pyro's back. "Let him go, for heaven's sake! Let him go!"

Rogue stand up happily. Kitty does a happy dance on the railing. "Yee-hee! Love conquers all!"

Remy unties himself and Jean's "family" dances around cheering. The rest of the crowd does too.

Rogue runs down the stairs and Remy and Rogue join hands, Rogue's being gloved. "Remy owes his life to you, ma cherie." He places his hand on her arm; she does the same.

"Ah couldn't have lived without you, Remy." They embrace in a sweet hug, being careful not to rub their faces together. Rachel grins at them from behind the camera.

Sabretooth places his hands on his hips. "There's something funny going on here."

"Now, PJ, tell my pal to kiss Maid Anna," Piotr is saying to Pyro, "or I have just found a new pincushion."

Just then Sabretooth walks around the corner with his sword draw. "Why, you!"

Piotr dodges as Sabretooth attacks him and in the process of fighting for his life, releases Pyro's collar.

Pyro wastes no time by shouting, "Kill him! Don't just stand there! Kill him!"

Rogue hugs Remy tightly as the guards take up their cardboard axes again. Piotr comes out from behind the box and throws Sabretooth's sword to Remy. Remy starts fighting Hank and Mastermind while Piotr takes on X23 with a big stick. He hits her in the back and she flies forward. After that, Pietro comes up to him and Piotr has to fight both of them.

Remy is fighting the guards off and back into the box. Pyro takes a sword, meaning to stab him in the back, but Remy turns around just in time and knocks the sword out of Pyro's hands.

"Don't hurt me!" cries Pyro. "No, no! Don't hurt me! Help! Help!" He runs out the back of the box and trips, head over heels. He crawls and hides behind the barrel marked 'Ale' where Scott was stuffed earlier. "Kill him!" He shouts, banging on the lid.

Kitty holds the golden arrow in her and and shoos Rogue, "Run for it, lassie! This is, like, no place for a lady!" Rogue runs off growling under her breath about not getting to fight. Kitty rolls up her sleeve and takes the golden arrow and pokes Hank in the butt. Beast jumps up, screaming in pain. That's when Sabretooth grabs Kitty's wrist. Kitty flips him over her with the help of Jean's telekinesis, because no one wanted to risk Rachel forgetting about the lights again. "Like, take that, you scoundrel!"

Rogue is running and extremely aggravated about playing the damsel-in-distress, "Help! Remy, help!" Several Jamie clones with fake spears are chasing her.

Remy swings in on a rope and grabs her by the waist, lifting her out of harm's way. They land on the roof of the royal box. "Anna, mon amoure, will you marry Remy?" He takes her gloved hand.

A thrill goes through Rogue just from hearing the words she's dreamed about coming from his lips. However, she remembers not to let it show and just says her line, "Oh, darling, Ah thought you'd neveh ask me." Remy is fighting off spears and axes with his cardboard sword. The cloth underneath them tears and they fall through onto the throne. "But ya could have chosen a more romantic setting," she says as he continues to fight and she hides behind the throne.

He fights off a Jaime clone and jumps off the throne, "And for our Honeymoon, London."

"Yes," Rogue sighs.

He pushes the throne over onto a bunch more Jaime clones, "Normandy! Sunny Spain!"

"Yes! Why not?" she says dreamily.

Kitty is being chased by Hank and Pietro.

Fred and Mastermind are fighting off Piotr. Piotr is using his big stick to knock them into a striped tent. "Ooh, vhat a main event this is," Piotr says, still in his duke costume. He enters the tent to continue beating them.

Kitty screaming, runs into the tent, followed by Hank and Pietro.

This pushes Piotr out. "Vhat a beautiful brawl." he says and rams back into the tent.

And that pushes Kitty out, rolling head over heels. She gets angry and once again stabs Beast in the butt, who jumps up again and starts a stampede of the four guards. Covered with the tent and Piotr, who is riding on Fred's shoulders. He pokes halfway out of the top of the tent. "Hey, vho is driving this flying umbrella?" he asks.

Townspeople run in and out of tents, chasing or being chased by guards. Remy and Rogue pass by. Remy stops to fight Angel in front of a blackberry pie stand. Angel's sword comes close to hitting his head. Remy gets up and continues his conversation with Rogue, "We'll have six children."

"Six?" Rogue asks.

"Two!" shouts Rachel.

"Rachel, you're not helping," Lightning glares at her.

"Oh, a dozen at least," Rogue says.

Lance pops his head up from inside the pie stand. He shoots his crossbow at Remy, who ducks. The arrow hits Angel's shield and bounces off towards Lance's head. He ducks and it hits a wooden sign instead.

Rogue picks up a pie and throws it at Lance with a angry, "Take that!" It hits Lance right in the face. And that is when the pie stand starts shaking and the tent crashes through. Lance is picked up by it and is carrying several pies. He loses his grasp on them and they fly up and hit Piotr in the face.

"Attention everyone!" Angel cries out. But his further commands are never heard as the tent runs over him. He and Lance are both trampled and left behind.

Sabretooth sees the tent headed for him and takes off running. The tent chases him through all the rows and over the nearly destroyed royal box. The throne is picked up on the way. Shortly after that, the tent catches up with Sabretooth and he is caught up in the throne. Sabretooth looks at Piotr. Piotr looks at Sabretooth. They both look at the tower they are headed straight for. Piotr jumps up and runs across the roof of the tent by jumping on the guards heads and then jumps down. Tabby screams and then sighs in relief as the tent passes by the tower. However, her relief is a bit early as the tent doubles back and rams right into it. The tower collapses. Piotr is finally back in his tunic and he, Remy, and Rogue are running out of the way. Tabby goes sailing through the air. She tries to blow her horn after she lands on a pile of foam bricks, but Kitty stuffs a muffin in the end of it. She baked the muffin herself.

"Stop the girl!" shouts Pyro from his hiding place. Bobby aims his bow and arrow at his butt and hits the target. "Ooh!"

Kitty was watching behind a tent and hits Pyro over the head with the golden arrow. "Like, take that, you scurvy knave!" She runs off.

"Seize the fat one!" Pyro calls out.

"What do you, like, mean fat!" Kitty stops running.

"Yeah, Kitty's not fat!" Piotr says, changing to metal form.

"It was in the script!" Pyro shouts.

"Well, Ah think the script needs a little changing." Rogue says coming up behind him.

"Uh, Lightning? Rachel? Help a simple pyromaniac out?"

"Nope, I think you should change it." Rachel says grinning.

"Me too." Lightning says.

"Oh alright." Pyro sighs. "Seize the Kitty Cat!" he cries out.

The guards charges Kitty, who phases through them easily. They end up knocking each other out. Evan, Jubilee and Amara watch her with glee, whistling and cheering. "Yahoo!" Kitty yells as she phases through two more Jaime clones who bump into each other and disappear. Kurt cheers her on as well.

Beast, as payback for the arrow-in-the-butt thing, grabs her bloomers, revealing the fact that Kitty is wearing polka-dotted panties underneath. She keeps running, stretching the bloomers. Finally, Hank lets go and she trips. But she gets away and turns to shout, "Long live King Charles! Yee-Hoo!" Piotr comes out from behind a tree and grabs her, pulling her into the forest just as a ton of arrows hit the trees were she was standing.

"Scott!" Pyro calls. "You're never around when I need you!"

Scott, who has been happily drinking the ale in the barrel shouts, "Coming, coming." He laughs.

Pyro gets a strange look on his face and listens to the barrel. He hears Scott singing, "For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow." Pyro removes the lid and Scott pops his head up.

"Oh!" Hiccups Scott, "Oh, there you are, old boy. PJ, you won't believe this but Monsieur Stork is really Remy Hood." Scott hiccups again.

"Remy Hood." Pyro says angrily. Scott chuckles drunkenly and nods his head. Pyro screams and starts choking Scott. He ties Scott up with a rope to a poll, very tightly. "Get out of that if you can."

"And cut!" Lightning calls.

"Well, that was fun." Rachel says grinning.

"You've got to be kidding." Lightning says.

"Hey, Kit," Rogue says with a knowing grin on her face, "where'd you disappear to during Pyro's speech?"

"What? I, like, didn't go anywhere." Kitty lies.

"Come to think of it," Pyro grins, "Piotr, you disappeared at the same time as Kitty."

"No, no I did not." Piotr lies.

"Yeah, right, homme. We believe you." Remy says, raising an eyebrow.

Kitty and Piotr are saved right then, by Scott throwing up on Jean's dress. "Eww!" scream Jean.

"I think I, hiccup, had a little too druch mink. . ." Scott say.

"Ya think!" Rogue and Jean yell.

"Aah! Why must you alien squirrels torment me so!" Scott yells running off to hid in his dressing room. Well, he would have, but the door was shut and he ended up running into the door and knocking himself out. "Mommy. . ."

Rachel laughs, "Oh, he's soo cute!" She squeals.

"Hey, back off!" Jean says, still covered in puke. "He's mine!"

Rachel gives her a strange look. "All I said is that he's cute. I wouldn't want him."

"Just his son, right?" Lightning says.

"Hey! Raven wasn't supposed to tell you that!" Rachel says yelling.

Lightning laughs.

"So, um Jean, ya wanna get cleaned up or something?" Rogue asks. Jean just groans and heads for the showers.

"So, chere, you really love Remy? Huh?" Remy says, just to tease her.

"Don't get too cocky now, Swamp Rat, it was in the script. And besides, even _you_ can't resist_ that_!" She points at Rachel.

"Hmm, maybe Remy and Rogue should make sure she exists in_ this_ dimension, no?"

Rogue faces goes pale. "The truce is off!" she yells as she slaps him and stomps off into her room.

And we will go too.

* * *

A/N: That was even longer than I thought it would be. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Don't worry Raven should be back next chapter. She's, um, busy right now. Very busy. Next up: Serious Romy, in the play. Oh and maybe the Sherwood Forest Party. 

**Translation:**

(1) Don't ask. I have no idea. It was in the script. Literally something like "blow of state" but I'm pretty sure that's not what it means.

(2) Again. This does not mean the literal translation of "Of the to know-to make, is it not, Scott?" what it does mean it more like "That's Class, eh, Scott?"


	8. Scene 7: The Sherwood Forest Party

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Koolaid. . . I do own Raven, Rachel and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. Yeah, well, the parade was canceled and they were too tired to stay up to see the fireworks. . . Poor things, but the oldest is only 3 so they've got plenty of fireworks to watch later. I got a new VCR. It'll be harder, but I can still do it. But now I'm confused with another one, I'd love to see Romyed. Thumbellina. . .

To Cat2Fat900: Thank you. That said. . . (get down on knees and begs) Please, please, please do not burn the camp down! Okay, now as for the review. . . Rocky likes them. He has a little friend too that hasn't been named yet. Oh, you like Raven better? So do I. That was the point of the "as if he wasn't tall enough." Poor Pyro, they laughed at him. Which was half of the reason to bring Rachel in. lol. Had to get Scott drunk somehow. Lol. Yeah, we all must have our Romyness. . . I know that, but it's only a play. I'm not sure about the squealing, but I'm assuming they teach it in the Mandatory Evil Insane Villain Classes. He doesn't, he just got lucky. I must give you ammunition. I don't know why exactly, but I must. . . I'm working on it, hon.

To Crash Slayer: Well, I hope you had a good holiday anyway. I never really thought of it that way. . . I think 90 of Evo fans hate EvoScott. Well, it does fit with Pyro's personality. I use the dictionary on any word Hank defines. . .I'm not sure how he fit, but Little John did, so Piotr did. I love good Scott abuse. :) Ya certainly don't hear it often. . . Smercial? Do I even want to know? That's their little secret. Lol. This all sprouted from a mistake on Disney's part in which Klucky is in one scene, not in the next, and then again after a bit, right back where she was originally. I'd try and help you out there, but you are probably not too far off base on that one. . . I'm gonna say yes, yes you are. Don't worry, _I'm_ the one writing this stuff! He is much bigger, but I bet they're the same strength-wise. Kitty's cooking _can _do anything, except _feed people_. Thanks for the review.

To Sweety8587: I forgive you. I know it's been messing up for you for a while. Too bad I can't put the song in! Ugh, but oh well, it'll work out somehow.

To Lyrit Liltrick: I'm not sure. I had to listen closely to find the second phrase. Good thing I know un peu de francais. However, the first phrase, I was really confused over. Of course he can't win, where's the fun in that? Thank you kindly.

To Chained2aMask: Scott torment is so much fun! Raven is busy. . . and the less said about that the better, though I think if E.V.A.N. Is still reading this, she might be able to take a wild guess. I've only seen Ocean's 11 like once, and I've never seen Ocean's 12, let alone own either of them. So, I can't do them. I am thinking off extending the parodies to any movie that can be Romyed though. Thank you very much.

To Hunza: Thank you very much. :)

A/N: Well, parade was canceled and my little tykes couldn't make it to 9:45 to watch the fireworks. But we had a fun day, anyway. The next part of the movie is several songs, and it bugs me cause I have to cut them out! Ugh, but I'll be combining several scenes and describing the actions of the songs anyway. Heh, heh, Raven is back!

* * *

Remy Hood

Scene 7: The Sherwood Forest Party.

When Raven and Lightning walk into the studio, they are in the middle of a fight. "I can't believe you brought _Rachel _in to replace me!" she shouts.

"No, not to replace you. That's not what I said at all." He shakes his head.

"Oh, then, what would _you_ call it?"

"She was just, um,_ temporarily_ taking your place. . ."

"_Replacing_ me!"

Kurt walks up to them, "If it means anyzing, she did a lousy job at it."

"Well, thank you, Uncle Kurt." Raven says grinning at him. "But that doesn't make me feel any better about the fact that my_ fiancée_ decided to _replace _me just because I was. . ." She stops suddenly. "Oh, well, it doesn't matter where I was."

"What do you mean fiancée?" Remy asks, startled.

"Did I say fiancée? I meant _ex-boyfriend_!"

"Yeah, right, like you'd really break up with me over a play." Lightning quips.

"Don't try me." She says right back.

"Fiancée?" Remy asks again, looking rather pale.

"Let's just get to work, and no one piss me off! I'm in a bad enough mood already!" Raven shouts.

"Better you than me," Evan says to Lightning. After which, Raven promptly charges a card and throws it at him. Evan screams and runs away.

The explosion has started a small fire. Pyro is leaning over it, laughing heartily, until Bobby freezes it. "Ah, did ya really have ta do that, mate?" He looks about ready to cry.

"I'll comfort you." Wanda says with an evil grin. Pyro screams and runs away. Wanda chases him laughing.

"Lights!" Raven calls, forcing everyone to settle down. "Camera! Action!"

The scene opens on a lovely wood. Fireflies light the air around our favorite couple. Forge pops in a prerecorded copy of Rogue singing, "Love. It seems like only yesterday. . ." Rogue and Remy run through the wood, holding hands, until they reach and bank. Remy stops and helps Rogue down gently. They are still holding hands and smiling. Both of them have nearly forgotten they are being filmed. Rogue watches the fireflies as Remy watches her face.

They walk near a stream. There is a small tree in their way. Rogue walks on one side and Remy walks on the other. He leans on the tree and looks at her. They let go of the other's hand and Remy brings a gloved hand to Rogue's face. She thrills at his touch, even though it's behind gloves. She then leans her own head against the tree.

The scene changes to a close up of the stream, where a bunch of lily pads have made their home. The camera moves up until Rogue and Gambit's reflections are seen staring lost into each other's eyes. Then the camera focuses on them, instead of their reflections. A closeup is show of their hands, while Remy slips a flower ring onto Rogue's gloved ring finger. She lifts her hand up to look at it and a firefly lands right in the middle of the flower, lighting it up beautifully.

Technically, they aren't using real fireflies, but little inventions of Forge's making that happen to look just like fireflies. Needless to say, Pyro loves the little flying lights.

Rogue looks up from her hand to Remy's face. He's smiling at her, lost in her emerald orbs. She smiles back. When she closes her eyes, the scene cuts to a waterfall. They walk along stones to reach behind it.

Behind the waterfall is a cave, and Remy leads Rogue through it, holding her hand again. On the other side of the cave, is Remy's hideout. Rogue stares at the mess table and tons of laundry, hanging all around the camp. "Oh, Remy," she sighs, "What a beautiful night." She allows herself to be caught in his arms, "Ah wish it would neveh end," she says truthfully.

That's when Kurt ports in, "Surprise! Long live Remy Hood!"

"Hooray!" Rahne and Sam call out.

Scott screams in pain and fear even though he knew it was coming. It was in the script. Raven glares at him with glowing yellow eyes. He runs away.

Sam cries out, "And long live Maid Anna!"

"Bravo! Bravo!" Rahne calls.

By this time, the other cast members have come out of hiding. "Hear, Hear! Bravo, bravo! Hooray!" comes from the crowd who are all clapping their hands and jumping up and down in excitement.

Kitty sits on a branch of a large tree. Piotr had lifted her up there earlier. She calls out, holding her thumbs down, "And, like, down with that, like, scurvy Prince John!"

"Da," Piotr says, sliding up next to her with a flirty face and a badly-made lute. Kitty smiles at him lovingly. She jumps down as Piotr starts to sing, "Oh, the vorld vill sing of a Bayville King, a thousand years from now. . ." Kitty is following him and Kurt is following her. They are all dancing to the music of Piotr's lute. Raven his placing earplugs in both her and Lightning's ears.

"Hey, why can't I have earplugs?" Logan asks, through the pain.

"Me too!" X23 cries out.

"I want earplugs, too!" Sabretooth howls.

Raven looks at Lightning, "I'd be mad at them, but I really can't blame them." She gives each one of them earplugs as well.

Piotr is glaring at them, but goes back to his song. Rahne is dancing behind Kurt. A band plays along. Logan, in his chicken suit, is playing another, better tuned, lute. Three other Jaime clones are playing drums, a flute, and a bass guitar. "Vhile bonny good King Charles leads the great crusade he's on. . ."

Rogue dances with Ray, who has some trouble since he's still wearing the cast. Piotr sings about how Pyro is the phony king of Bayville, while dancing with more Jaime clones.

"A pox on the phony king of Bayville!" all the cast shouts out at the proper time. Scott's screams coming from his dressing room can be heard through the earplugs.

Piotr pulls aside a piece of laundry and reveals a hollow tree. Kurt ports to it and sticks up a puppet of Pyro, made with two brooms, the head of a scarecrow, and a paper crown. Kurt is laughing. He bounces the puppet up and down until the crown falls over the puppet's face. He looks at it strangely and fixes it, while everyone laughs and then hides again. Jubilee, Amara, and Evan all point and laugh at him.

The puppet bows to it's audience and then another puppet joins him. This one is a Scott Sock Puppet on Ray's arm. Piotr sings about how Pyro pretends to be a king. The Scott Puppet acts like it's talking back to the Pyro Puppet. Kurt sticks his hand through the Pyro Puppet's sleeve and grabs the Scott Puppet, pulling him down and then takes out a stick. Kurt starts hitting the Scott Puppet on the head. Piotr sings about Pyro throwing tantrums when he can't have his way. The Scott Puppet grabs the stick and hits the Pyro Puppet on the head. Piotr sings about him calling for his Mom and sucking his thumb. Kurt puts one hand on the puppet's ear and the other in front of the puppet's mouth and makes it look like he's sucking his thumb. Jubilee, Amara, and Evan are rolling on the ground with laughter.

The scene cuts to Duncan and Taryn laughing, because they are too afraid of Raven to do otherwise. "Too late to be known as John the First, he is sure to be known as John the worst!" cries out Piotr. The Scott Puppet hits the Pyro Puppet again and tears the scarecrow head open. Kurt holds it up in amazement.

Ray stands up in shock as well. "Oops." he says, shrugging.

"Lay that country on me, babe." Piotr says to Logan. Piotr finally having given up on the lute, with much relief from those with sensitive ears. Logan plays his solo proudly. The whole band plays as well.

"Come on, Piotr," Kitty says, grabbing his hand and dancing with him. "Go, laddie, like, go!" She laughs. "Oh, oh, oooh!" she cries out when Piotr dips her.

Duncan and Taryn dance next to Logan with frightened looks on their faces.

Rogue dances up close to Remy who smiles at her. Kitty and Piotr are still dancing together. The camera returns to Rogue. Then to a Jaime clone, playing yet another lute! Then back to Rogue and Remy dancing. Then, back to the band.

When Piotr starts singing again, Rogue is sitting at the table and clapping her hands. "Vhile he taxes us to pieces and . . ." he sings on. The real Jaime comes and asks Rogue to dance. She accepts. People gather around and watch them dance. "A minute before he knows ve are there, " Piotr tells Bobby, patting him on the head, "Old Rem, vill snatch his underwear." He points to the Pyro Puppet which is stuck in the ground now and Remy is climbing into the underwear. The paper crown flies up and lands on Remy's head. Everyone laughs. Rogue and the others continue to dance when Piotr starts singing again. The crowd eventually forms a crowd around Rogue and Remy while they dance. The scene cuts to the waterfall again. "Prince John, that phony king of Bayville!" Piotr sings. After he finishes, those of them who wore earplugs removed them.

The scene fades to the inside of a castle. Sabretooth, still wearing the electric shock device in his costume, walks in singing the words to the previous song, Scott is sitting at a desk, writing. He is surrounded by bags of chocolate coins. Some are melting. Sabretooth walks up to him, still singing, He plops a bag of money on the desk. "How about that?" he asks Scott.

Scott has closed his eyes and removed his glasses. "That's PJ to a 'T.' Let me try. Let me try." He clears his throat, and replaces his glasses. He is now free to open his eyes. He starts singing about how Pyro is too late to be know as John the first, and is sure to be known as John the worst, when he looks up and sees Pyro standing in the doorway. He gulps. "The fabulous, marvelous, merciful, chivalrous. . ."

Sabretooth cuts him off, not having noticed Pyro standing behind them in his blue robe. "Oh, you got it all wrong, Scott." He places his hands on his hips. "The sniveling, groveling, weaselly, measly. . ."

He is cut off by Pyro's angry yell, "Enough!" Pyro is holding a pitcher of Koolaid. He throws it at Sabretooth's head.

Creed ducks and the pitcher smashes against a pillar instead. "But, but, sire, it's a big hit." he says. "The whole village is singing it."

"Oh, they are, are they?" Pyro asks angrily. "Well, they'll be singing a different tune," he says as he sticks his face up into Sabretooth's. "Double the taxes! Triple the taxes!" he shouts. Scott nods knowingly, until Pyro grabs his throat and starts choking him. "Squeeze every last drop out of those insolent, _musical _peasants."

The scene changes to one where Storm has created a rain storm around the castle. Everything is dark and dreary. Logan's voice is heard in a voice over. "Man-o-man," he says. "Prince John sure made good his threat." Thunder claps. "and his helpless subjects paid dearly for his humiliation, believe me, bubs."

The scene changes to a couple of Jaime clones leaving a house with a sign on it that read, "Foreclosure by order of the crown."

"Taxes, taxes, taxes." rants Logan. "Why he taxed the heart and soul out of the poor people of Nottingham."

The scene changes to Lance sitting on top of a gallows in the rain and Sabretooth leaning back in a chair, sleeping under and awning, outside the prison gate, out of the rain. "And if you couldn't pay your taxes," Logan continues. "you went to jail." The scene changes to Logan, in his chicken suit, looking out a barred window. "Yup, I'm in here too, and I ain't too happy about it!"

"Logan!" Raven says calmly. "Kindly refrain from adding more lines to the script before I tear out your heart and feed it to Sabretooth." Sabretooth smirks at him.

"Hmph, you could try." Wolverine mutters.

"Perhaps I should!" She says with glowing eyes. She starts to float above her chair.

"Uh, t'at's okay, Raven. We don't need a demonstration of your powers right now." Remy says, trying to calm her. "Wolvie is very sorry, are you Wolverine."

Logan nods, frightened by the young girl's anger. Raven calms down and glares at him. "You are lucky I'm such a Daddy's girl. In this mood, I'd normally tear anyone apart who dares to oppose me."

"Thanks a lot, Lightning." Piotr groans.

Lightning sinks back into his seat. "Perhaps we could just get back to the play," he says weakly.

Logan takes the hint, "Nottingham was in deep trouble." The scene changes to the inside of the prison cell, where Logan is wearing a ball and chain and starts singing, "Every town, has it's ups and downs. . ." He sits on the ball and the camera pans out to see Duncan and Taryn in lots of chains. Plus other members of the cast and lots of Jaime clones. Duncan, who can barely move because of all the chains, places a blanket on Taryn's shoulders. Jean, slowly feeds a Jaime clone. Water falls on Bobby's hat and drips onto Evan's head. It's driving Evan nuts. Jubilee and Amara cuddle up, asleep. One Jaime clone is eating while another Jaime clone watches hungrily. He gives the other a part of his cookie. Ray lays on a bed of hay, while Storm leans over him, trying to feed him. Logan stands up again, still singing. Outside the prison, Sabretooth has woken and is holding the door open as four Jaime clone in prison uniforms march slowly into the prison with their legs attached to a large chain and carrying large hammers. They drag a large ball behind them.

The scene then changes to the church where a bell tolls. Inside, Kurt is pulling the rope. Sam, sits at the organ. "Friar Kurt," he sighs, "Ah don't think anyone's coming."

"You're right, Sam, but maybe ze sound of zis church bell vill bring zose poor people some comfort." He stops ringing the bell and walks into the main sanctuary. "Ve must do vhat ve can to keep zeir hopes alive."

Sam nods from the organ and Kurt walks over to the poor box. Rahne is sweeping a rug in front of a part of the church that is used as an apartment for her and Sam. "Oh," she sighs, "how can there be any hope with that tyrant Prince John taxing the heart and soul out of the poor people?"

"Ja, zose poor people." Kurt says, opening the box. He sighs sadly. "Look, our poor box is like our church, empty."

Rahne looks sad and runs into her apartment. She lifts her mattress and grabs the only thing under it, a single coin. Rahne looks at it for a moment and then goes out the door and brings it to Kurt. "Friar Kurt, we've saved this. It's not much, but please take it, for the poor."

"Your last farzing?" Kurt asks. "aw, little sister, no one can give more zan zat." He takes the coin and places it in the poor box. "Bless you both."

"Oh," Sam says, embarrassed, "we were just saving it fer a rainy day."

"Vell," Kurt says, glancing at the church's broken window. "It's raining now." He laughs. "Zings can't get worse."

Just then, Sabretooth walks in. "Howdy, Friar," he growls. Sam stops playing. "Well, it looks like I dropped by just in time."

"What does that big-bellied bully want here?" Sam asks angrily.

"Sam, shh!" Rahne pleads.

They soon find out what he wants, when he goes straight to the poor box and opens it. He pulls out the coin. "Hmm. Well want have we got here?"

"Now, just a minute, Sheriff!" Kurt says, wagging his finger at Sabretooth, "Z, z, zat's ze poor box!"

"It sure is," Sabretooth says grinning. "and I'll just take it for poor Prince John." He puts it in his pocket. "Every little bit helps."

"Ooh, you put that back!" Rahne yells.

"And His Majesty also blesses you, little sister." Sabretooth growls.

"You thieving scoundrel!" Kurt shouts, raising his fist.

"Now take it easy, Friar. I'm just doing my duty." Sabretooth says pretending to try and reason with the fuzzy demon.

"Collecting taxes for zat arrogant, greedy, no-good Prince John?" Kurt yells.

"Listen Friar, you're mighty preachy, and you're going preach your neck right into a hangman's noose." He wags his finger in Kurt's face.

"Get out of my church!" Kurt screams in anger. "Out! Out! Out! Out!" He screams, pushing Sabretooth with every "Out!"

Sabretooth responds with an, "Ooh!" at every push. Kurt manages, with Raven's helps, to push Sabretooth out into the graveyard.

"Oh, dear me." Rahne cries, running to the door.

"You want taxes?" Kurt yells. Sabretooth has drawn his cardboard sword and Kurt has a big stick. He tries to hit Sabretooth with it, but it block by Sabretooth's sword. "I'll give you taxes!" He manages to hit Sabretooth on the head really hard.

"Ow!"

"Give it ta him! Give it ta him! Give it ta him, Friar!" shouts Sam from the church door.

Sabretooth grabs the stick and breaks it. Lance is watching from a tree. He jumps down and pulls Kurt's hood down over his face. Sabretooth grabs a shackle and places it around Kurt's neck. "You're under arrest for high treason to the crown." Sabretooth snarls.

"Oh, no!" Rahne says, holding on to Sam's arm. She starts crying.

Sam puts his arms around her. "Oh. There, there, Rahne."

Kurt is led away in chains by Sabretooth with Lance close on his heels, pointing a crossbow at him.

Logan's voice is heard again, singing the same sad song as before. Rahne and Sam watch them led Kurt away.

"And cut!" Raven sighs, relieved it went as well as it did. "That went a little better than usual."

"Just because they were all afraid of you." Lightning retorts.

"And it was _you_ who put her in a bad mood, wasn't it?" Rogue says, slanting her eyes at him.

"Yeah," says half the cast. Scott screams and runs out of the studio.

"Remy says we get him!" Gambit cries out.

"Yeah!" they yell again.

Lightning starts backing away slowly. "Uh, Raven? A little help here?" He gulps.

"Why?" She says calmly. "After all, you _do_ have a healing factor."

"But, but, but. . ."

She raises her eyebrow. He can tell she doesn't intend on helping him. He takes off at a dead run. Unfortunately for him, Pietro was one of the many who was angry with him.

Raven grins. "That ought to teach him not to replace me." She almost laughs, but catches herself as she hears his cries of pain as they catch up to him. She backs into the shadows. We will leave them there. . . .

* * *

A/N: Well, that was fun. Raven doesn't like being replaced. Sorry, to leave you all in such a dark place, but these scenes just couldn't stand on their own. Next up: Remy learns of the plan to hang Kurt and comes to the rescue!

Please review:)


	9. Scene 8: Rescuing Friar Kurt

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven and Lightning.**

* * *

Reviews:

To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. Well, he does have that healing factor. . . lol.

To Cat2Fat900: Thank you. Oh now I feel so much better about it, not! You are bringing matches with you after all. . . I miss you already! Hurry back! Getting Scott drunk was fun! Well, it was either Bobby put it out, or it burnt down the studio, again. . . And Raven was already in a bad mood. Evan should learn to keep his mouth shut. Assassins? Oi, you are worse of than I thought. Don't worry, I'll protect you from the MWTPWJ. I don't know where the idea of Rahm came from originally. I always thought she had a crush on Roberto in the show, but it seems that most people see her with Sam.

To Crash Slayer: Yes, well, I must admit I was a little worried myself, but I wasn't going to e-mail you a notification. . . Yeah, well, they are _my_ favorite couple anyway. Synchronized sentences are good. Especially when the hurt Scott. Just cause he's Russian doesn't mean he can't make facial expressions. It's not so much Piotr as the lute was not made, um, very well. It was out of tune. Puppetry, nope, didn't make it up, just spelled it wrong. Lol. Hmm, plot hole? No, seriously, Logan started the solo and then the band joined him. I just wrote it confusing. Chinese water torture (shivers) that would get to me. I have a dripping faucet in my bathroom and it drives me nuts. Well, mostly I watched it cause I was obsessed with the X-Men movie, and I used to watch WB a lot in the evenings and saw a commercial for it. So, I thought, Why not? Then, I almost stopped watching it, because Rogue wasn't in it, or Gambit either, but I saw her in the credits so I knew she'd be there. . . Raven and Lightning were actually made up before the show, but I figured Evo fits them better than TAS. Thanks for the review.

To Sweety8587: Thank you. Lightning has a healing factor, so I don't think anyone should worry about him. I mean, after all, Raven's only killed him once, or twice. . . She put him back together again! Oh, good, that really helps with understanding the story. :D

To Lyrit Liltrick: You seem to be the only one that caught that. It's a long story and yes I will be writing their story out, but first I have to finish their parent's story. Like Raven would ever feel guilty about anything. Thank you kindly.

To Tigerlilly1234: Thank you, it is fun watching him get beat up. He does have that healing factor after all. . .

To Heartsyhawk: Thank you very much. :)

A/N: I was actually surprised at how many of you cared about Lightning getting beat up. Don't worry, though, he's used to it. After all, look at who he's dating. . . And most of you enjoyed it anyway.

* * *

Remy Hood

Scene 8: Rescuing Friar Kurt.

Lightning walks in looking like nothing happened. Raven walks behind him smiling. The cast sighs in relief. "Good Morning, peoples." Raven says and glances at the buffet table where there are several boxes of pizza. Fred is standing there, staring in amazement at all the pizzas. "Ooh, pizza!" Raven says and hurries over. "I love pizza." She picks up a slice and puts it on a paper plate, grabs her trusting bottle of cayenne pepper and starts covering the pizza slice in it.

Lightning has also gone to the pizza and starts eating a slice, without using a plate. Raven raises an eyebrow at him. "Oh, this from a girl who uses TK to lift her fork at dinner?"

Remy whispers in Rogue's ear, "See, Remy knew t'ey'd like pizza. Everyone likes pizza."

Rogue rolls her eyes, "So, ya were right about _one_ thing!"

Fred has grabbed a box, or twenty and went to his corner to eat them. Kitty walks up to the remaining pizzas, "There had better, like, be a vegetarian pizza here."

"Right here, Katya." Piotr says pointing it out for her.

"Oh, thank you, dear." she says, cheering up.

Even Wanda and Pyro are at the table. They reach for the same slice of pizza at the same time. Their hands touch. "Oh, sorry, mate." Pyro says.

"No, no, it was my fault." He takes the slice anyway and Wanda shrugs and takes another out of the same box. She sighs, _he likes the same kind of pizza as me. . . all the more reason to chase him. . .We'll be fighting over the last slice. . ._

Pietro and Evan are fighting over the best toppings. Xavier shakes his head and goes to grab a slice. However, Magneto has reached for the same slice. Soon they are arguing over it.

Rogue sighs, "Just one scene without a fight. Is that too much ta ask fer?"

"Oui," Remy laughs at her, "Especially when ma chere starts half of t'em."

"That's it! Swamp Rat!" She starts chasing him around with a slice of pepperoni pizza in her hand.

Raven rolls her eyes. "I think now would be a good time to get to work, Lights! Camera! Action!"

Using her telekinesis, Raven lifts Lance to the top of a scaffold. Toad hops up onto the other side. The scene begins as Lance watches Todd hammering something. They look down and Sabretooth grabs the rope and ties a noose into it. "Well, Lance," Sabretooth growls, "every thing's rigged up and all set."

"Yep," Lance replies. "it's one of the prettiest scaffolds you ever built, Sheriff."

Toad hops down next to a lever. "Sheriff, don't you reckon we oughta give that trapdoor a test?" He pulls the lever.

Sabretooth is testing out the strength of the noose. He is also standing on top of the trapdoor. He falls straight down and gets stuck in the hole, groaning. He drums his fingers against the floor of the scaffold. "Criminently. Is that even a word?"

"Who cares," Raven says, pushing a button.

Sabretooth starts twitching from the electricity flowing through his body. He obviously forgot about the electric shock device in his costume. "Crimi. . .Crimi. . . Criminently. . . Now I know why your mama called you nuts."

"Alms. Alms for the poor," an old beggar, or Remy in the old beggar costume from Bobby's birthday party, calls out, walking up with cup in hand and his cane. "Do me old ears hear t'e melodious voice of t'e sheriff?"

Sabretooth smiles, loving the flattery. "That's right, old man," he says, climbing out of the hole, still slightly twitching.

Remy the beggar taps his cane on the scaffold, "What be going on here?"

Sabretooth grabs the handle of the trapdoor and lifts it back up. "We're gonna hang Friar Kurt."

Remy lifts his glasses up and cries out in his normal voice, "No! Hang Friar!" He realizes his mistake and converts back to the old beggar's voice and replaces his glasses, "Hang Friar Kurt?"

Toad has hopped back up to the scaffold again. "You betcha." He says, while Lance points his crossbow at Remy. "At dawn, yo. And maybe it'll even be a double hanging."

Lance claps his mouth over Toad's, "Shh, shh! Dummy up, you dummy."

"A double hanging, eh?" Remy says, placing his hand on his chin as if in deep thought. "Who'll be t'e ot'er one t'at gets t'e rope?" He holds his finger out thoughtfully.

Lance, having climbed very carefully down from the scaffold, walks up to him and points his crossbow in Remy's face. "Sheriff, he's getting too all-fired nosy."

"Oh, I didn't mean not'ing." Remy says, backing up slightly and shaking his head. "But, um, couldn't t'ere be trouble if Remy Hood shows up?"

Todd laughs, "Well, wouldn't you know, Sheriff, he guessed it!"

"Toady, button your beak!" Lance yells at him.

"Ah no need to worry." Remy says, reassuringly. "The sheriff be too crafty, too clever, and too smart for the like of him, says I."

Sabretooth smiles smugly during this, "Ya hear that, Toady? For being blind, he sure knows a good man when he sees one, says I." He sticks his nose up into the air. Everyone, except Raven of course, starts laughing and Sabretooth growls at them threateningly.

"Good man?" Bobby nearly chokes laughing.

Lance, seeing murder in Raven's eyes, decides to calm down and continue with the story. "Sheriff, I still got a feeling that that snoopy old codger knows to much." Remy starts sneaking off.

Sabretooth is trying another knot, just to be safe, "Oh, shut up, Lance. He's just a harmless old blind beggar."

Lance looks from the sheriff to the beggar who is about to leave the castle gates, crying, "Alms. Alms for the poor. Alms. Alms for the poor."

On the other side of the gate, Piotr is waiting for Remy. "Rem, ve cannot let them hang Friar Kurt."

Remy hurries over to him. "A jailbreak tonight is t'e only chance he's got." Remy removes his glasses.

"A jailbreak?" asks Piotr. "There is no vay you can get him."

Remy pulls of the beggar hat, "We've got to, Piotr, or Friar Kurt dies at dawn."

The scene fades to one of the castle, where Sabretooth is sleeping by the prison door. Fred, Pietro, and X23 stand guard in front of another door. Outside the wall, Remy and Piotr climb a ladder over it. It's a very study ladder. They peek over the wall at the scaffold, then at Fred, Pietro, and X23. Then the watch as Hank and Mastermind wander the top of the wall, with bows in hand. Piotr looks at Remy, who points at the sleeping Sabretooth, and Lance and Toad, who are patrolling nearby. They climb onto a ledge and Piotr knocks some of the brick off the castle. They freeze at it falls, then run quickly to a thatched roof of some random building inside the castle gates. The climb down quickly and quietly. The make their way to an arch and hide against the wall as Lance struts by with his crossbow. Lance is really starting to like his crossbow. Piotr and Remy breath sighs of relief as he walks by, not noticing them. They hide behind a low wall as Toad walks up to it. He sets the handle of his cardboard ax on the ground hard. Piotr comes out above the wall and reaches to grab him when suddenly, Toad cries out, "One o'clock and all's well!" Piotr hides quickly.

The castle clock chimes three times. Sabretooth wakes up, scratching his chest. "Toady, you'd better set your brains ahead a couple of hours."

"Yes, sir," Toad says, "Does that there mean adding, or subtracting?"

"Oh, let's forget it." Sabretooth says, much annoyed.

"Yes, sir, Sheriff. Sir." Toad replies, walking off.

"Toady, how can I sleep with you yelling, 'all's well,' all the time?" Sabretooth asks. He places his hands behind his head.

Lance comes up to him, "Sheriff, everything ain't 'all's well'. I got a feeling in my bones there's gonna be a jailbreak any minute." He absently points his crossbow in random directions. One of this directions are at Sabretooth's head.

"Criminently, Lance!" Sabretooth snarls, moving the point of the arrow out of his face. "Point that peashooter the other way."

"Don't you worry none, Sheriff. The safety's on Old Kitty." Kitty groans. He pats it to prove his point, which of course sets the arrow off and it flies around, ricocheting off the walls. Sabretooth jumps up to avoid getting hit. He has to jump, duck, and basically dance to avoid the arrow. Needless to say, Wolverine is deeply enjoying this humiliating performance. Even lance has to jump out of the arrow's way.

"What in tarnation you trying to do? You Birdbrain!" screams Sabretooth. He slams his fist on Lance's helmeted head.

Lance swaggers for a moment before he can think up his line, "Just doing my duty, Sheriff," he says slowly.

"You and that itchy trigger-finger of yours."Sabretooth growls.

Meanwhile, Toad is reaching the spot where he had been standing earlier. Piotr peeks out over the wall and grabs him. Toad tries to scream, but it's muffled by Piotr's hand. They tie him up.

Lance hears it, "Hey, did you hear that?"

"Sure did, Lance" Sabretooth says. "There's something funny going on around here. Come on." He waves for Lance to follow him. "You cover me."

Lance follows with his trusty crossbow. He isn't paying attention to where he's going and pricks Sabretooth in the butt with the arrow. Sabretooth snarls and turns around, "Wait a minute. Is the safety on Old Kitty?"

"You bet it is, Sheriff." Lance says patting the crossbow again.

"That's what I'm afraid of." he growls. "You go first."

Lance leads on and Sabretooth pulls out his cardboard sword. "All right, you in there, come out with your hands up."

Meanwhile, Remy is putting on Toad's outfit and a mask of Toad's face.

"Yeah, reach for the sky." Lance calls.

"You just watch this 'performance,' partner." Remy whispers to Piotr.

"Be careful, Rem." Piotr whispers back.

Remy walks out in his Toad costume, holding Toad's ax. "Jehoshaphat, Lance. Put t'at peashooter down."

"Aw, shucks, Lance," Sabretooth says, snapping his fingers in frustration, "it's only Toady." He sheaths his sword. "And criminently. Get back to your patrol." He points at the area Lance is supposed to be patrolling. "On the double, get!" He kicks Lance.

Lance hurries off, "I'm a-getting! I'm a-getting!"

Remy follows Sabretooth back to his chair by the prison gate. "That, Lance," Sabretooth complains, "He's getting everybody edgy. Nothing's gonna happen. That blue friar is gonna dangle from the gallows come daybreak." Piotr watches as they walk away. Remy winks at him. Sabretooth yawns while Remy pulls the chair up behind him.

"Sheriff," Remy says. He takes Sabretooth's arm and sits him down. "Why don't you just sit yourself down here kind of cozy-like?"

"Well, thank you, Toady." Sabretooth says, settling down.

Remy reaches a finger and shuts Sabretooth's eyes. "Just close your sleepy little eyeballs. T'e sandman's a-coming." He props Sabretooth's feet up on a stool. Sabretooth snores. Remy rubs his hands together. "Why don't you, uh, let Toady loosen that belt?" He starts to loosen it to get the keyring. He starts to sing, "Rock-a-bye Sheriff, just you relax. . ." as he does. He takes the keys and heads to the door, humming the tune and patting Sabretooth on the shoulder. He puts the key in the lock and turns it. It makes a click which startles Remy and makes Sabretooth snort. Remy turns to hide the key and face Sabretooth.

However, Sabretooth doesn't open his eyes, "Oh, Toady, that's mighty sweet. Sing it one more time, would you?"

"Rock-a-bye, Sheriff. . ." Remy starts as he waves Piotr over. Piotr slides in the door and reaches for the key. Remy hands it to him and he slams the door.

"Wait a minute! Jailbreak! Jailbreak!" Lance calls, setting off his arrow. "I heard it! I heard it, Sheriff! The door! The door!"

Sabretooth jumps up to dodge the arrow. Piotr is nowhere to be seen. Lance runs over and Remy trips him with the cardboard ax. He falls at Sabretooth's feet. "Now, for the last time, no more false alarms!" Sabretooth grows. He kicks Lance hard enough to send him flying across the courtyard.

"Ow!" Lance screams.

Remy whispers to Piotr, through the door. "Now, you release Friar Kurt and t'e ot'ers and Remy'll drop in on t'e Royal treasury." They part ways.

Piotr climbs up a set of stone stairs. He runs by a door and then stops in his tracks. The sign on the door reads, "Sentenced to death for treason, Prince John." He looks in the window and sees Kurt, all chained up.

He unlocks the door and walk in. Kurt slowly looks up and opens his eyes. "Oh, Little Piotr! It can't be!"

Piotr walks up to him and unlocks his chains, "Shh, quiet. Ve are busting out of here."

"Danken Sie Gott!" (1) Kurt cries out. "My prayers have been answered."

The rest of the town is sleeping in their shared cell. That is until the door opens and Piotr and Kurt start letting them out of their chains. Logan stretches, while Kurt help Ray up. Piotr reluctantly lets Duncan and Taryn out of their chains. Kurt helps Jean and the Jaime clones out of theirs, and the children.

Bobby looks up, "I'm ready. Where are the bad guys?"

"Take it easy, son," Kurt says quietly, holding him back.

Piotr releases more Jaime clones. Logan looks out the window and smiles. He motions Piotr over. They look out. Remy is carefully climbing up the tower to Pyro's room. He throws a grappling hook up to the balcony. It catches and he climbs the rope up into the room.

Inside the room, Pyro lies sleeping in his underwear and Charles' crown. Scott lies in a small toddler sized bed at the foot of Pyro's California King sized one. Scott's bed is more of a cradle, because it rocks. Scott is feeling extremely humiliated. Click, Pietro has taken a picture for future blackmailing.

Both Pyro and Scott are pretending to snore. "Remy Hood!" Pyro cries out in his sleep, startling Remy. "I'll get even. I'll get. . ." He rolls over, hugging his bags of chocolate coins. The whole room is full of bags of chocolate coins.

Remy hops up onto the ledge of the balcony and shoots an arrow with a rope tied on it into the prison cell. Piotr grabs it and runs it through a metal hook. Then he runs to the window and shoot the arrow back to Remy. Remy has already tied the other end of the rope to a fixture above Pyro's elaborate bed. When the arrow hits, slightly above the other end of the rope, Pyro jumps up with a start. He settles back down, not noticing anything.

Remy ties the two ends of the rope together and then ties the bags of money, one by one, to the rope while Piotr and Logan pull it in a circle. "It's Remy Hood I. . . I want. . ." Pyro mutters in his sleep. He rolls over and his feet hang over the edge of the bed. Pyro starts laughing. Scott's breath is tickling his feet. Remy notices this nervously. Pyro keeps laughing and suddenly kicks Scott in the face and then curls up.

Scott wakes up with a start. He sits up and looks around. Remy climbs under Pyro's bed. Scott glares at Pyro's feet. He settles back down in his tiny bed and it starts rocking. Remy rocks it with his foot as his ties more money on the rope. The money travels down into the prison cell, where Kurt is hugging it and laughing. "Praise ze Lord and pass ze tax rebate!" He hands Duncan and Taryn a bag of the more melted chocolate coins.

Chocolate has seeped through them and gets on Taryn's hands. She screams in anger and drops hers.

Raven glares at her. "Pick it up!"

Taryn almost refuses but one more glance at Raven's glowing eyes makes her bend down and pick up the bag.

"Come on. Follow me," Piotr says to the "townspeople." They all trudge down the stairs to the door. Sabretooth is still sleeping. Piotr glances up and see a bag has ripped. Coins are falling out. Some of them hit Sabretooth, waking him up. Before he can shout, Piotr pulls him into the jail.

Lance hears a muffled scream and hurries over, but Piotr has quickly dressed as Sabretooth and sat in his chair. "Now, Sheriff. Now, don't get you dander up," he whispers, "But I still got a feeling that. . ." and that is when Lance looks up to see Piotr's face instead of Sabretooth's.

Piotr grabs him by the throat and picks him up off the ground. "Friar, get going. Hurry." Piotr whispers. The prisoners hurry on their way, hiding from the guards as best they can.

The clock chimes four. Remy hears it and decides to hurry up. He grabs the last bag of coins that is on the floor and ties it to the rope. Then he notices one behind Pyro's pillow and grabs it. Pyro hits hard, but doesn't wake up. Instead he holds his ear and sucks his thumb. This sound however wakes Scott up. He looks over at Pyro, just as Remy sees one last bag, huddled in Pyro's arms. He lifts Pyro's arm and tries to take the bag, but it's caught and pulls Pyro's thumb from his mouth. Finally, Remy pulls the bag out and Pyro sticks his thumb back in his mouth.

Scott has watched this and his head goes from John to Remy and back as Remy runs off and hangs onto the rope. Scott grabs the last bag and Pyro's leg. The bag rips, sending chocolate coins everywhere. Pyro wakes up as his bed drags across the room. He screams as it hits the balcony. He is almost pulled off, but he grabs on screaming, "Guards! Guards! My gold!"

The remaining prisoners are pulling tight on the rope as Hank and Mastermind ready their arrows. Remy notices the rope has stopped and starts crossing it hand over hand, avoiding arrows. Pyro's hands slip and they are all pulled hard into the prison cell. Pyro hits the outside of the window and Scott accidentally lets go. Pyro falls to the ground in a heap. Fortunately, Pietro had laid a soft fluffy mattress there so he wouldn't get hurt. He crawls up to his feet. "Oh, no, no, no. They're getting away with me gold!" he screams as the last of the prisoners run out, Amara is at the very end. He runs over to the door and slams it shut. "Guards! Guards! To the Jail!" Pietro, Fred, and X23 head over racing directly at him. "Guards, halt! Stop! Desist!" he tries. None of them work. Fred hits him full on, breaking the door and pinning Pyro between the door and Freddy. Then they run head on into the wall, breaking it.

Remy runs out, "Everybody, t'is way!" He points and they run, dodging arrows. One hits Ray's crutch. Another hits Evan's bone plate and bounces off.

Bobby shoots an arrow and Remy shoots one behind him. Remy's arrow catches both Hank and Mastermind's cloaks and pins them to a wall. Bobby thinks he did it. With a smug look, he turns and runs with Jubilee and Evan close behind. Logan shields some Jaime clones from the arrows with his lute. Angel tries to bring a huge ax on Duncan's head, but Kurt ports them out of the way in time. "And why couldn't I have just ported out of the jail cell?" Kurt asks.

Raven groans. Lightning pats her shoulder. "I'll handle this one." He turns to Kurt and screams, "Because we said you couldn't! Now, on with the play!"

Fred, Pietro, and X23 have pulled themselves out of the rumble and are now chasing them too. A basket of barrels happens to be in their path. Remy releases the rope and Piotr pushes the cart up. All the barrels roll towards the guards. Kurt is lifting the last of the Jaime clones into a wagon, when Remy runs up. "That's all of them. Let's get going." Remy lowers the drawbridge and runs to the wagon.

"This is not a hayride. Let us move it out of here." Piotr starts pulling it while Kurt pushes it. Remy runs after them.

"On to Sherwood Forest!" Kurt yells.

That's when Jean sees Amara still running towards them beyond the castle walls. "Stop! My baby!"

"Mama, Mama! Wait for me!" Amara calls, clutching her doll and running.

Remy stops in his tracks and goes back for her. Angel cuts the portcullis down and Remy is trapped. He pushes her out under it before it shuts completely.

"We got him now," Sabretooth calls.

"Keep going. Don't worry about me." Remy tells Amara and Piotr. The guards are closing in, so Remy climbs the portcullis and jumps to a rope, hitting Sabretooth in the stomach and knocking him down. He barely makes it to the wall. Rogue, off stage, screams in fright. Remy smirks at her as he climbs up to safety. "A little worried about Remy, chere?"

"No!" she lies, trying to cover her red face. "I, I, uh, I saw a mouse."

Kitty, not realizing Rogue was lying, screams, "a mouse! Where? Somebody catch it! Get it out! But don't kill it!"

Raven looks at her and rolls her eyes. "The play? Anyone remember it?" Everyone was staring at Rogue and Kitty.

"Oh, yeah," Hank says and he pulls an arrow back at Remy. Mastermind does too. Remy ducks and both arrows narrowly miss the other archer. Remy jumps and barely lands on a lower wall. Rogue feels her heart skip a beat, but manages not to scream as Remy starts climbing up the tower to Pyro's room again.

Sabretooth chases after him with a lit torch. Pyro watches the torch in a daze. "This time we got him for sure," Sabretooth says as he climbs the stairs to Pyro's room.

Remy climbs up the balcony and shuts the curtains. He turns around to find Sabretooth waiting for him. Sabretooth waves the torch at him, but instead it catches the curtains on fire, as Remy runs behind them. He finds a chair and Sabretooth hits the chair with the torch. The chair is soon on fire along with the rug, Sabretooth is standing on. Remy pulls the rug out from under Sabretooth, who lands on his butt. Remy races to the curtains and jumps through a hole in the fire. Sabretooth is soon behind, but can't quite get through the curtains as quickly. Remy races up to the attic. There's a window. He climbs out as the fire burst through the room, setting the wooden floor ablaze. The fire is burning the roof and Remy's only choice is to jump.

"Shoot him!" Pyro calls from another window.

Down below, across the moat, Remy can see Piotr and Bobby watching him. Remy jumps into the moat.

"Kill him! Kill him!" Pyro calls. His guards shoot arrows at the water.

Remy is swimming as fast as he can. Arrows hit the water around him. One hits what looks like his head and he falls into the water. Pyro and Scott watch from above in pleasure as bubbles rise and nothing else.

"Come on, Rem. Come on." Piotr calls.

"He's just gotta make it," Bobby says, scared.

Remy's hat floats to the top with an arrow through it. Rogue, who can't watch anymore, runs to her dressing room.

"No! No. No." cries Piotr.

"Scott! He's finished! Done for!" Pyro cries happily, dancing around, singing and laughing.

Scott looks on in disbelief. Bobby pulls on Piotr's shirt, "He's gonna make it, isn't he, Little Piotr?" Tears well up in Piotr's eyes, because Pietro has sprayed mace into his face. He gulps and looks down at Bobby. Then, he looks back up. Bobby gets the message and gulps as well. He hugs Piotr's arm and starts to cry. Pietro has sprayed Bobby's face too. "Hey, what's that?" he suddenly asks. In the water is a small reed, moving towards them. Piotr has turned away, not wishing to see. But Bobby insists, "Little Piotr, look it! Look it!" Bobby races to the edge of the water and Piotr follows quickly. He looks at the reed closer, when water sprays into his face.

"Hey! Vhat the. . ." he says, shielding his face with his arm. Remy's head pops out of the water, with the reed in his mouth. Piotr laughs. "Oh, man, did you have me vorried, Rem." He picks up his hat and wipes his forehead. "I thought you vere long gone."

Remy hits the water out of his ears. Bobby race to the water and jumps on Remy. "Ah, not Remy Hood! He could've swum twice that far, huh, Mr. Remy Hood, sir?" Remy looks at him sceptically.

Scott sees this and yells out, "Look, Sire! Look! He's made it! He got away again!" Pyro runs over to look.

"A pox on the phony King of Bayville! Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally!" Remy and Bobby yell up at them at the same time. Scott screams and huddles in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.

Pyro rolls his eyes at him. "Oh, no. It's so miserably unfair!" he screams and throws a tantrum.

Scott, having recovered, says, "Well, I tried to tell you, but no, no, no, you wouldn't listen. Your traps just never work, and look what you 've done to your mother's castle."

Pyro, who was about to hit Scott on the head with a giant board, cringes and cries out, "AAH! Mommy." He sucks his thumb again and starts chasing Scott around thumping the ground hard as Scott dodges each blow.

Scott screams and shouts, "Sire, no!"

"You cowardly cyclops!" Pyro shouts.

"Please, Oh, no." Scott pleads.

"Procrastinating pig!" Pyro continues. "Aggravating animal!"

"Save me!" Scott screams.

"You wolf in sheep's clothing!" Pyro screams at him.

"Help!" Scott shouts, "He's gone stark raving mad!" The echo fades as the castle burns down.

"And cut!" Lightning calls.

"Someone get Pyro away from those flames!" Raven calls.

Wanda is only to happy to oblige as Bobby puts the fire out.

Piotr turns to Pietro and slams his fist into him. "Mace! Mace! Are you crazy?"

Pietro simply smirks, "Well, itseemedlikeagoodideaatthetime."

Remy is looking around for Rogue, "Where did she go?"

"Oh," Jean says, "She ran off about the time Hank shot you in the head."

"Oh, well, t'en. Remy ought to go make sure t'e fille knows Remy's all right." He approaches her dressing room to find her laughing her head off. "Rogue? What's so funny?"

"Hank shot ya!" She laughs. "Right in the head too. . ." She laughs harder.

Remy gets angry. "Chere, t'at is not funny!"

"It is from my point of view." Rogue laughs.

"Well," Remy smirks, "T'en maybe Remy t'inks it funny t'at t'e next scene is our wedding."

Rogue stops laughing and groans.

Raven gets up from her chair and walks towards the door, "They're never gonna change are they?"

"They might," Lightning says, placing his arm around her waist.

"No," she shakes her head, "They won't."

"Yes, they will."

"No, they won't."

And we will leave them fighting until the next and final scene. . .

* * *

A/N: Sorry this took so long, but I was helping my sister move into her new house this weekend. :D Next up: The wedding of the century! and the end of Remy Hood. . . :( I got to make up my mind what to do next. . .

Please review:)

**Translation:**

(1) "Thank God!"


	10. Scene 9: Happily Ever After

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Lightning and the DPD.**

* * *

Reviews: 

To Crash Slayer: You seem down, hun. Something wrong? Thanks for the review. But, no I didn't spell Rogue wrong. I know it's an easy mistake to spell Rogue as Rouge, but rouge is a type of makeup and rogue is French for thief (which is why they call her Rogue). I did forget that extra f, though. Sorry about that. My spell checker doesn't check for grammar mistakes. I try to read a story a couple times to catch stuff like that, but I guess I missed it. Actually, I think I meant "Pyro falls back down hard." but I wrote it wrong, again I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy this chapter better. I read somewhere that someone was already planning Peter Pan, but I might think about it.

To Sweety8587: Thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Well, Pocohontas is a strong maybe leaning towards no, because in the first movie she's in love with John Smith and the second one she's in love with the man she really married. So, I couldn't put Rogue with someone else for even one movie. Though I only have the first one. Aladdin has been done before (twice) and both were Jotts. Ugh. And I don't have the second movie either.

To Tigerlilly1234: Thank you very much., it is fun watching him get beat up. He does have that healing factor after all. . .

To Heartsyhawk: Thank you very much. That's very weird about your reviews. I don't think I've ever had that problem. Like I told Lyrit last chapter, it's a long story. And Lightning was all right. He's kind of used to it. Lol. That would be funny, but since they only show the end of the wedding in the movie, it can't be done. However, if I ever find one that does show the wedding. . .lol. The perfect trick. . . and of course, all is forgiven. I mean, I can't hold you responsible for FFNET's screw up and I wouldn't even think about it. I'm just glad you reviewed. :)

A/N: Well, the final chapter's here. (tear) and I hope you all like it. :D

* * *

Remy Hood 

Scene 9: Happily Ever After

Raven and Lightning join the rest of the cast and everyone looks happy because the final scene is upon them. "Okay," Raven says. "This is the last scene and I know you are all dying to get it over with, so let's get things moving. Shall we?"

"Yeah, sure," Rogue says, "As soon as someone gets Toad off the ceiling."

"Huh?" Raven and Lightning say in unison, making Scott scream and cry like an infant.

"Yeah, we've, like, been trying, but he, like, won't come down." Kitty says from her spot in Piotr's arms.

"How exactly did he get up there?" Lightning asks.

"He jumped." Remy says dryly.

"Duh," Rogue says.

Lightning and Raven both groan.

"And why did he jump onto the ceiling?" Raven asks.

Wanda smirks rather proudly. "It was either that or become frog shish-kabobs."

"Well, you'll have to apologize," Raven tells her, "we need Toad for the last scene."

"When pigs fly!" Wanda says and sticks her nose in the air while leaving the studio.

Raven groans again. "Guess I'll have to do this the hard way." Her eyes start glowing and she flies up to him, using telekinesis of course. "Toad, get down."

"I ain't going down there, yo!"

"Wanda is gone."

"She'll be back."

"Which is the worst of two evils, Wanda's wrath or _mine_?" At this she takes out a pack of cards and starts shuffling them the way Gambit does before a fight. Several loose things also start flying around them.

Todd gulps and glances nervously around him. "I think I'll get down now."

"Good idea." Raven says smiling at him as the various objects stop flying and she puts the cards away. She lands quietly in front of her director's chair as Toad jumps down. "Now, let's get this show on the road! Lights! Camera! Action!"

The scene opens to the town on a bright sunny day. The Robin Hood posters have been covered with signs that read, "Pardoned by order of King Charles."

Logan is in his chicken suit for the last time. He walks on the stage whistling and behind a tree. "You know, bub, I thought we'd never get rid of those two rascals, but lucky for us folks, King Charles returned, and well, he just straightened everything out."

He points at the rock quarry where Lance and Toad sit in a tree watching as Pyro, and Scott, and Sabretooth wear striped prison uniforms and ball-and-chains. Sabretooth sits hitting a small rock with a little hammer. Pyro stands with a sledge hammer over a big rock while Scott holds the chisel. They hit their rocks several times and Pyro's breaks, part of it lands on his foot. He cries out and holds his foot, jumping up and down in pain. "Ooh. Aah."

Scott laughs.

Church bells are heard in the background. Logan looks to his left quickly. "Say, we'd better get over to the church. Sounds like somebody's getting hitched." He starts running, thinking joyfully about killing the groom.

The camera focusing on the church tower, where six bells ring the marriage of Remy to Rogue. The church doors are pushed open by Evan and Bobby. Amara and Jubilee come out, both holding the same basket and throwing flower petals left and right. Rogue, dressed in a wedding gown that knocks the breath out of Remy, is holding onto that Cajun's arm as he leads her out of the church. Both are wishing this wasn't a pretend wedding, and only Rogue is trying to hide that fact. Everyone shouts, "Long live Remy Hood!" Scott holds his arms in and effort to stop shaking from his unexplained fear of synchronized sentences. The two lovebirds smile and Rogue plants a quick kiss on Remy's cheek. He doesn't pass out, but he's a little disoriented for a moment. Duncan, Taryn and Ray throw rice from bowls at them.

"Hey, isn't this stuff bad for birds?" Taryn asks.

Raven rolls her eyes and shrugs. "Yeah, it makes them explode."

Taryn gasps.

"What?" Raven says in confusion.

"Taryn," Lightning adds. "They didn't know that back when this film was made and we are inside a studio. Get back to throwing rice."

Taryn, scarred for life, starts throwing rice. The same song that played during the firefly scene starts playing as Rahne and Sam are also shown throwing rice.

Kurt is standing in the door. "Long live King Charles!" the crowd shouts, as Charles Xavier wheels to the doorway.

He laughs as Kurt bows, "Oh, Friar Kurt. It appears that I know have an outlaw for an in-law." He laughs hard at this joke that's not really that funny. Kurt laughs too, just to be nice. "Yes, not bad."

Rogue and Gambit run hand in hand to a very fancy coach with a sign that reads, "Just married," on the back. They climb in and Rogue waves.

Bobby starts climbing onto the front of the coach.

"Gee, Bobby," Evan asks stupidly. "How come you're going?"

"Well," Bobby answers. "Remy Hood's gonna have kids, so somebody's gotta keep their eye on things."

Piotr, dressed in his duke costume again, helps Bobby up. "Ho-ooo!" he shouts and flicks the whip. The horses start moving.

Kitty waves. "Ohhh." She wipes a tear from her eye with a pink handkerchief. "I've, like, never been so happy."

Rogue and Remy wave again from the carriage, while Remy holds onto Rogue's shoulder. Rogue throws her bouquet out the window. It lands in Jubilee's hands. Jubilee look significantly at Bobby who gulps loudly. Amara glares at her for catching it and reaches to grab it. But Jubilee keeps it higher than Amara can reach so she gives up. Rogue and Remy continue to wave at the crowd of Jaime clones, Jean, Ray, Duncan and Taryn, who are holding hands,

Back at the Royal Rock Pile, the prisoners keep working. "Hey, here comes the bride, Lance." says Toad excitedly. "Present arms!"

Lance jumps up at that and nearly falls off the tree branch. He salutes and pats his trusty crossbow. The arrow flies up and, with Raven's help, ricochets off the branch and flies to hit a church bell. It bounces off that as well and nearly hits Pyro in the head. He ducks and it goes right in between his head and his hat. It bounces around inside the rock pile a while, nearly hitting both Scott and Sabretooth as well. Finally it bounces out of the pile and lands in the back of the coach right on the hearts in the Just Married sign.

Logan laughs in his voice over, "Well, folks, that's the way it really happened." Rogue and Remy way from the back of the coach as the song comes to an end.

Remy reaches up and pulls down a shade. "Just one kiss chere," he whispers.

"Cut, that's a wrap!" Raven calls.

The cast cheers. Rogue jumps out of the carriage happily and wanders towards her dressing room. Lightning looks in the coach. "Uh, Rogue, why is Remy unconscious?"

"Ah have no idea," she says innocently as she accidentally charges her dressing room doorknob. It explodes and throws her back. She stands up looking rather angry.

Lightning and Raven look at each other. Then, they start laughing. "Let's go now." Raven says. Lightning nods. "Goodbye everyone, see you next time!" Then they're gone.

Evan groans. "You mean we're gonna have to do this all over again?"

Just then, a group of men in SWAT gear burst into the room, "DPD! Freeze!"

Jean groans, "Not these guys again."

"Again?" Taryn asks. "You mean you know who they are?"

"Not exactly." Jean answers.

The one called Manning groans again, "We missed them again, didn't we?"

Logan nods. "Just left."

"The Chief's gonna kill us." Manning groans.

"Okay," another man says, "We'll just have to catch them next time."

"You said that the last time." Manning answers him.

"Well, I mean it this time."

"And you didn't mean it last time?" Manning says, pushing buttons. The DPD disappear in a flash of light.

"Great, just what we need. . ." Rogue groans, still trying not to blow anything else up.

"I hate dimension/time hoppers," Logan whines.

The End

* * *

A/N: Well, here it is. The End. How sad. Lol. 

I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. And in case you did, look for the next installment of "Raven and Lightning Presents" soon with the tale of Rogue White and the Seven Mutants, a princess who flees from her evil mother. Can true love save her? Don't expect this one for at least a week. I'm not even going to start it until I get back from my vacation in Texas around the beginning of August. My brother-in-law's getting married.

If anyone still has any questions, go ahead and ask them in your review and I'll try to email the answer to you, okay? Till next time!


End file.
